Chapter 194
1595words
"It's different.." I mumbled in dissatisfaction.
I was talking about his attention, not just simply his way of looking at me. Tsk, why did I even bother saying that? Men are all the same, they won't just magically understand you if you hint at them.
I gasped at my thoughts.
Ugh! What the hell is wrong with me! Why am I even complaining right now!
"What's different?"
"Nevermind," I replied, staring back at the fire again.
This time I was the one grumpily looking at what he was doing, my mouth frowning and my eyebrow furrowed as I thought about many things that plagued my mind. It's crazy how my heart and pride were fighting, that it was starting to get on my nerves
"You're angry," he said, it wasn't a question rather he sounded like he was sure.
"I'm not angry." I frowned.
"Then why are you frowning?"
"Can't a she-wolf frown?" I rolled my eyes.
"Christal."
I let out a sigh of disbelief. "I'm not angry!"
"Then why are you shouting?"
"Coz you kept asking me! stop asking me! geez!" I said, my voice rising from the frustration that I was feeling. He kept bombarding me with questions that I was starting to feel angry for real.
He was a bit startled at the tone of my voice that he went silent again, his mouth curling down like a sad puppy who didn't get its treats, at that time all I could do was let out a sigh of frustration.
"I'm really not angry," I muttered, enough for him to hear.
I was looking straight to the fire when he suddenly went towards me, he sat down beside me and offered me the stick in his hands. "Here, I added salt in it."
I raised my eyebrows, "and where did you get the salt in the first place?"
"Easy, I saw it on one of the shelves at the cave." He said.
Wow, I didn't even think they had salts here. Well, I'm not that surprised since making salts is not that hard to begin with. The only thing that made me ask that question was because it was Zyrus himself, I mean how can a spoiled guy like him even know how to make salt?
I chuckled at the thought.
"What are you laughing at?" He leans his face towards mine, and I inclined away in reflex.
"I just thought it was funny." I chuckled, lifting my shoulders
"What's funny?"
"You.. making salts. I thought you were gonna say you made them. You're an alpha king, I doubt you even have the time to be learning about basic living necessities."
But what happened next horrified me. It was clear how he was displeased when I said those words, his mood turning as he stared at the bonfire in front of us. He said, "That's right, back then I even didn't bother going to the academy since I ascended to the title in such an early age, not even my family was able to teach me all those basic stuff that was usually thought in our species."
My heart tightened.
Why can't I just have a normal happy conversation with my mate? why do I always have to mess it up like an idiot! I shouldn't have said that, it made him remember the past!
I closed my eyes, cursing myself in my mind after I just worsened the mood.
"Let's talk."
I flinched. "A-Aren't we talking now?"
"You know what I mean, don't you?" He glanced at me, so I just buried myself while I hugged my knees.
Talk?
What's there to talk about? We both have our difference at this time. If we do talk right now, we'll just end up fighting again- if that happens, I'll just cry like an idiot in front of him!
I bit my lower lip in frustration.
"Christal, didn't you come here just to talk to me? I know how you're always fighting by yourself, but you don't have to do that anymore. I'm here, I can share all those burdens with you, so let's talk okay?"
He grabs my hand, gripping it tightly before interlinking his hand with mine, he then placed a kiss on the back of my hand.
I know I should talk things through, yet I was still scared that I might just say some words that I wasn't planning to say in the first place since I always had this pet peeve of mine of saying things that I never want others to know
I slowly raised my head, finally glancing back at him. I said, "You first."
He chuckles, "We aren't sharing secrets, this is a conversation, it's a two-way process, so I can't just talk first, you have to respond okay?"
I was a bit hesitant but I still ended up nodding anyway.
He starts, "Let's talk about the first time we met. Do you remember? You ran away from me as soon as i recognized you. Although I know the reason now why you did that, it still haunts me to this day. It really hurts how you rejected me even after seeing how handsome I am."
I slapped his back, laughing a bit from his dark humor. "Look I'm sorry, I'm not trying to laugh at the situation, I just laughed at how you twisted the story in a 360-degree turn."
"Then that's good, didn't want you to feel awkward after hearing it." He smiles.
"Yeah right." I rolled my eyes.
"So.. at that time, I wanna know what was running through your mind. After you saw me, just how were you able to fight the strong mate pull?" He asks.
"It wasn't easy," I averted my gaze away from him. "I had to constantly remind myself of the past that I wanted to forget forever, it was an excruciating method just to avoid my attention away from the mate pull. I even have to rely on submitting myself to the darkness of my emotions just so I could turn my attraction as a weapon to aim towards you. Yet you captured me anyway, I ended up forgetting about the past and went through a lot with you, when I recovered my past memories, it was already too late."
"I.. already fell in love with you." I slowly looked at him, my voice cracking a bit due to the memories that were replaying in my head again.
He puts his palm on my side and forced me to lean to his shoulder, his scent making me calm a bit. "I'm happy to hear that, even if our past interactions weren't the best, being with you is enough for me."
I bit my lower lip, holding back my tears. "Do you really not regret it?"
"No." He firmly says. "I never regretted loving you."
Ugh, damn it! he's making me so touched that I was starting to fall apart again! I knew I shouldn't trust him yet, but look at me submitting to him as soon as he said those words with such a genuine voice!
I have to ask him.
I wiped my few tears away, "You.. if you didn't regret it. Why did you send out your men to kill the remaining Bluestone werewolves? didn't you hate me?"
"That wasn't me, some alpha bastard used my name to carry out the task, Don't worry I already punished that mutt."
I briefly smiled.
I thought I didn't trust him, but as soon as he said those words, I immediately believed him. Can you believe it? I'm so blinded by my love for Zyrus that I kept making excuses for it. I don't even know if I should be worried or happy at this moment.
"Is that why you were angry earlier? you thought I was planning to kill you?"
I slowly nodded. "I did think about it, I know, I've always known the truth yet I kept making these petty excuses just to avoid you. I know that you wouldn't do anything to hurt me, not after you just regained your memories."
He sighs.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you several times before, those are the things that I regret the most. I regret hurting you even in the slightest ways."
"I don't want you to be sorry," I pulled away. We both stared at each other while I say my next words with a smile. "I want you to just stay beside me, okay?"
He must've been shocked since he stared at me with open eyes before He finally hugs me tightly, my grip on the stick loosening and it fell to the ground. He said filled with determination. "Forever, love, I won't ever leave your side I promise!"
At that time. My fears started to dawn to me once again. Am I making a mistake? no, I've decided to do this, and since I've done it now- i can't turn my back on him.
My attention shifts upwards at the purple moon above us. It was looking down at us as if it was mocking me, reminding me of the fate that awaits us.
That's when I tightened my grip around Zyrus, a tear falls on the surface of my face.
Moon Goddess, if you can hear me. Please, just for the last time, Give me more time to be with him, even if it's just before we leave this place.
or Before the tragedy takes place.
"I love you so much," I said in a whisper.
