Chapter 163
1191words
Staring at her eyes, trying to read what she was thinking and hoping to know what she was feeling, I saw nothing but deep anticipation.
She was eager to know my answer to her question… And at that moment, I knew.
I knew that as soon as I said yes to her, I would be able to reach what I had been dreaming of for a long time – to be with her again.
With that one word, I’d be able to keep her by my side for the rest of my life.
All I needed to do was let her mark me.
But that would also mean that I had to wear an omega’s mark for the rest of my life and carry it for everyone to see.
My heart shook, and I trembled inside because I knew that it was something that was not so easy to say.
I’m not on my own. I’m no ordinary wolf who can do whatever I want just because I want to.
I’m an Alpha. An Alpha who lives not only for myself but for hundreds of my members whom I must protect. If they knew that an omega marked me, it wouldn’t be only my members who’d laugh at me but the rest of the world.
The elders who greatly respected my father would laugh at me and likely lose their respect for me. Our enemies would look down on us. And every alpha of every pack would doubt my power and challenge me.
I would threaten the safety of my pack members.
If something happens to them because of my selfish decision, then… what face would I face all of them?
Would I be able to live with that? What would happen to my pack?
There were so many things to consider. All of which said that an omega couldn’t mark me, but only my heart said I should do it.
It’s not rocket science. For most, I could only sacrifice my happiness and hurt the one I love the most, like how I have hurt her many times before.
Because of that… As cruel as it might sound, I’d rather be killed by Della than let her mark me…
Della’s chin quivered in suppressed pain as tears welled at the corners of her eyes.
“Again… You probably didn’t hear me right, so listen carefully this time.” She took a deep breath and repeated her question, “Will you let me mark you?”
Looking down at her, my heart terribly ached.
She was still expectantly looking at me. At that moment, she looked so cute. She’s like a kid begging for candy. Only that, unlike kids who’d simply cry when not given one, Della would hate me and be totally out of my life.
My heart felt like it had been stabbed. The last time I saw her looking vulnerable like now was when Flora was nonexistent in our lives.
I took a step closer to her and embraced her as tight, feeling I’d lost her the moment I let go.
With a gentle kiss on her forehead, I solemnly swear at her, “Della, I love you. So much that I can’t live without you. There is no need for marks to prove it. If you want my life, I can even give it up for you.”
I could die for her, beg her, and suffer on her behalf. But I can’t wear her mark and jeopardize the entire pack’s safety and dignity for my selfishness.
After all, my death won’t bring shame or danger to my pack. It’s the best choice.
At this moment, I may not seem to be her best mate. But I’m also the Dark Moon Pack’s alpha, and there are a few things I couldn’t do for the woman I love… this was one of them.
After I said that, I felt Della’s body turned rigid.
I closed my eyes and let a bitter smile form on my lips, knowing full well what was next to come.
She raised her hands and put them between us, pushing me further from her.
With a sad smile pasted on her lips, she sarcastically said, “Of course, you can offer your life to me so easily because you know well that no one can take an alpha’s life so easily.”
Della shook her head in disappointment. “Just be honest and say that you never loved me to begin with…”
“Della… It’s not that…”
“Just say outright that you’ve been lying to me all along!” she continued, totally heartbroken.
I frantically shook my head and held both her shoulders, proving to my subconsciousness that she was still within my grasp. “No… It’s not a lie or an excuse! I can really give up my life for you, Della. I love you that much!”
She bitterly smiled and motioned at the empty room where Ralph had cuddled Stella earlier. “Stella, as a princess, painlessly begged an omega to mark her. You keep saying that you love me, and yet you’re unwilling to make such small sacrifices…”
Small? How could that be small? It’s my pack’s dignity and pack member’s lives that would be sacrificed!
Stella’s a princess, yes. But I’m an Alpha. I’m handling the entire pack, and I’m their face!
Taking a deep breath, I hurried and tried to explain, “No, it’s not like that! It’s not that I’m unwilling. It’s just that if I let you mark me. The pack–”
Della raised her hand and showed me her palm to stop me. Her face showed that she had enough of me.
Mockingly, she said, “You’re all words, Kylian, and that’s your problem! Let’s just end it all. I don’t want to see you anymore.”
She laughed sarcastically and added, “You won’t suffer much anyway. You can find that girl you substituted me for and tell her your lies of love because I’d never believe in it again.”
Her tone was firm, and her eyes were void of love.
After looking at me for one last second, she turned around and ran away with my heart, leaving me breathless and soulless.
I froze in my place with my hand outstretched as I failed to grab her wrist and stop her from leaving.
“Why can’t you believe me? Why can’t you listen to me?” I whispered as pain radiated all over me.
Didn’t I do enough for her already? Didn’t she see all my efforts? Was it all still not enough to prove that I love her?
Was it all not enough… or was I never enough for her to begin with?
“Just give up on her! You’re an alpha, and it’s not your loss! Just find another woman!” my wolf persuaded me, feeling annoyed.
But I immediately retorted, “Della is irreplaceable!”
I was on the verge of breaking down when a mind link reached me.
“Alpha, I found some clues about Gianna!” I could hear the vivid annoyance in Henry’s voice, “It’s...kind of complicated and...disgusting. You need to come here now.”
“On my way,” I answered, couldn’t stop but wonder what could possibly he found to be so annoying?
