Chapter 135
1733words
The pain that was radiating in my heart was incomparable to anything that I ever experienced before. It’s as though a million knives were struck into my heart and it’s slowly being torn apart. The agony was murderous.
If I could yank my heart out just to relieve it, I would.
My shoulders trembled heavily as tears kept streaming down my face as heavy as the storm outside.
I didn’t know how… but I felt so powerless that I wasn’t aware how I was able to reach the corner of the room and huddled lifelessly against the wall until Diana came inside and gasped loudly out of shock.
“Ms. Della! I… How… I mean…” Filled with immense panic, Diana, who always seemed to know what to say, let out a series of incoherent words.
Her quick footsteps echoed on the creaking wood of the house as she ran toward the bed and grabbed the blanket.
Hurriedly, she wrapped it around my shoulder and pulled it closer, trying to provide me with warmth.
“It hurts…” I whispered.
It’s all in vain. She could wrap me in a burning charcoal for all I care, and I’m sure all I could still feel would be the icy feeling in my heart that almost gave me frostbite. I was completely numb.
I let out a sarcastic laugh. ‘How funny! How can one feel so much in pain and so numb at the same time?’
Diana’s eyes widened. She immediately moved me and tried to inspect me for any injury as she asked, “What hurts? Did he hurt you?”
I shook my head. “It’s over…”
Staring at the door from the corner I was huddled into, all I could think about was Kylian’s dejected expression as he walked further and further from me.
‘He won’t come back… Not anymore… This time, it’s the real end,’ I thought, completely sure this time around.
“It’s for the best. Our fated mate will come soon, it’s better to end it now than later,” Trisha said from the back of my mind, trying to comfort me though I feel that she’s in pain as well.
She tried to hide it, but I could feel her whimper.
Kylian may only be our chosen mate, but the love we felt for him was genuine.
Diana’s eyes shifted between me and the door, and a realization hit her. “Oh, Ms. Della…”
She grabbed a tissue from the table before kneeling down beside me.
Wiping my tears away, she reminded me of the cruel truth. “This is what you wanted to happen, Ms. Della, remember?”
I nodded in agreement but failed to hide the snort from my cry.
Throwing the tissue away, she leaned closer to me and engulfed me in a tight embrace. “I can’t pretend to know how much you’re hurting right now, but I want to let you know that there’s always a good side to every struggle, we just need to look closer.”
Pulling away a bit, I stared at her. “I don’t know anymore.”
How could I know anything? Right now, my mind was completely blank as all I could perceive was the pain I was feeling.
Diana gave a small smile. “Only by closing one door can you open another one. He’s your chosen mate, but a better one will come – your fated mate. The one you’re destined with and fated to be married and happy with. This time, you can have a new life. The one you deserve.”
I was speechless. As soon as Diana said those things, everything dawned on me.
“You’re right.” She’s right… Just like always was.
“But why does it hurt so much?”
How come I was in so much pain when Kylian was just my chosen mate? How could it feel so painful… almost as though he’s my fated mate.
She, once again, tightened her embrace. “Because you’re a kind and loving woman. You’ve loved him so much for so long… It’s bound to be painful, just give it some time.”
“But for now…” She pulled away and supported my arm. “You have to look after your baby and stay strong. I know it’s hard, but I need you to control your emotions.”
As if I was splashed by ice-cold water, my hand drastically went to my belly, feeling panic.
“Stupid!” I scolded myself mentally.
How could I let the pain make me forget that I’m pregnant?
Pain? Bond break? I’m the Lycan Princess of the entire werewolf kingdom, such a trivial matter shouldn’t affect me as much. More importantly, I shouldn’t be acting so fragile.
I pulled my arms away from Diana and stood by myself. Standing upright with my head held high, I raised my hand and wiped my tears dry.
With a smile on my face, I looked at Diana, and uttered with relief, “Thank you.”
With that, I went back to the table and continued working on the issues in Wakeland. I continued doing that until very late in the night.
Exhausted, I laid on my bed and fell aslepp quickly. Unexpectedly, I saw Kylian in my dream again.
“Why did you have to leave me?” Kylian whispered sadly as he tried to reach my arm.
I looked at him with confusion. With furrowed eyebrows, I asked, “What?”
“Why? Why did you have to reject and leave me?”
He took a step closer.
“Why did you have to push me away?”
I took a step back, feeling scared and confused. Like a sad madman, he kept repeating those questions with deep eyes and a sorrowful voice. It’s almost suffocating. The world went dark and all I could see was him and his dejected appearance as he started to approach me more aggressively.
“Stop!” I shouted in panic as my body jolted.
When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by the dusty old ceiling of my place. My chest was rising and falling heavily as my breathing became shallow.
“This again?” I frustratedly said as I tried my best to calm myself down while sitting up in bed. For the entire night, I hadn’t been sleeping well, always waking up in the middle of an endless dream.
It’s so repetitive, almost making it into a nightmare. Every time I’d close my eyes, I’d be greeted by Kylian’s face full of agony.
Looking out the window, it’s already morning. Giving up on sleep, I called Diana. “Diana, please prepare the breakfast.”
She entered the room, and greeted, “Good morning, it’s already prepared.”
After thanking her, I went out and came to the dining. On the table was a plate of omelets and toasted bread. On the side, a saucer of sliced apples and strawberries was served.
“Are you alright? You look a little bit haggard.”
I grabbed my spoon and started slicing the omelet. “I’m fine, I just didn’t have a good night's sleep is all.”
“Here, this may help.”
“Thank you, you’re the sweetest.” I smiled and grabbed the glass of milk she poured for me.
Diana was cleaning the table when a knock on the door came.
“Ms. Della.” Ralph greeted as soon as he came inside after Diana opened the door for him.
I was stunned, almost frozen in my seat.
Like me, he looks rather haggard. Maybe even worse. He had a dark circle under his eyes, his hair was a bit disheveled. Unlike the first day, his worst casual clothes. It looked like he didn’t have much time to take care of himself.
He lowered his head, and greeted, “I came to visit you. Good day, Ms. Della.” As I instructed before, he didn’t call me by my title, which I appreciate.
Ralph kept his distance and kept his head low to not meet my eyes. “Is it convenient for you to meet me today?”
I sighed. Though he was able to keep his promise to keep my identity, I guess with his timid nature, it’s hard for him not to treat me with less respect than he would to a princess.
Looking down at his hands that’s fidgeting a bit on his side, I could see that he was quite nervous.
I couldn’t help but feel sad and a tinge of guilt. How could he still treat me with the utmost respect after he suffered so much from the blow he got earlier?
As the princess, I was supposed to protect my people, especially talented engineers like Ralph. Instead, not only did I fail to protect him, but I also brought him to the lion’s den myself. I failed, and let Luke and Stella cause him pain.
“It’s not our fault. It’s the truth and it’s bound to happen. Don’t take it to heart. You don’t need to blame yourself,” Trisha reminded in the back of my mind, but still… it’s hard to do.
Standing up, I came closer to him and nudged him to stand upright. Nodding with guilt, I said, “Of course, take a seat.”
“But it won’t change the fact that I brought him here,” I replied to Trisha as I watched Ralph walk sadly toward the vacant seat.
“He won’t blame us. He’ll probably think that’s all just plain coincidence. After all, when we came in Dark Moon Pack, you, Ralph and Stella still didn’t know each other.”
What she said made sense, but it couldn’t lessen my guilt as I knew the truth.
“Have some drinks.” Diana placed two orange juice on the table, one for me and the other for Ralph before she gave us some privacy.
At first, silence enveloped us and an awkward silence filled the air. But after a moment, Ralph took a deep breath, looked up at me, and asked calmly, “Is it on purpose that you made me witness the truth about Stella and Alpha Kylian?”
He knew it!
Anxiousness radiated in me. For a shy man like him, he sure could be so straightforward.
He’s smarter than I expected him to be. He caught on it sooner than I thought. I stared into his eyes, fearing to see a hint of disappointment from him.
What should I say? Should I admit it? After all, he already caught on to it. He’s smart.
“I--” I was about to speak when Trisha suddenly interrupted me.
“No! Don’t! Just deny it. Ralph doesn’t have anything to prove that you intentionally did it!”
