Chapter 52 Shards of Regret
1352words
Tears flowed freely down my face as anger tingled through my body. I couldn't help but feel the betrayal sear and burn my heart. I felt a fire take over deep inside me—I was marked against my will. My mind raced, trying to figure out when, how, and why this had all happened. I had so many questions, but no answers. I dragged my body over to the bed and flopped onto it, curling into a tight ball like a fetus. I was left alone in the same room where I had been attacked, trying to comfort myself. Uncontrollable sobs soon overtook me, lulling me into a deep sleep.
Nightmares that felt so real brimmed through my dreams, images of the marbled-colored rogue wolf with his canines fully extended, hunting me. He taunted, "You're mine, I'm coming for you," before sprinting on top of me. But I was frozen in place; all I could do was wait while he ripped my throat out. Blood splattered and repainted the walls. There was no one to help me this time—not a single soul. The same illusions tormented me and replayed like a continuous circuit, refusing to cease their hold.
Strong hands clenched my arms tightly as they hastily jerked me to reality. My body was drenched in sweat; I lay in what felt like a pool of water, cold against my bare skin. I glared up, terrified that the marbled wolf had returned to finish me off—this time for good—but instead I was met with a concerned pair of intoxicating honey eyes.
"Baby girl, come on, wake up. It's only a dream," Alpha Jaxon said in a comforting voice as he shook me from the horrors of my mind. My heart thundered in my chest; my wolf wanted to throw my arms around his neck and never let go. Me, on the other hand, all I could see was deception. I looked down and realized that the white towel that had once wrapped my body had fallen loose, leaving me totally exposed.
I picked up the white fluffy towel beneath me and quickly covered myself, struggling to pull my body up beside the bed. "I'm marked," I whispered slowly. I had wasted all my energy on crying and sobbing when I found the mark on my neck. Now, I had nothing left to fight back with. Regret pooled in Alpha Jaxon's eyes as they locked with mine; I could feel the guilt jolting off him.
"Yes... you are," he replied. He was cool as a cucumber, treating me like he owned me. I could feel tears welling up, although I was determined not to let a single one fall. I knew better than to expect Prince Charming from Alpha Jaxon, who had a reputation for being cruel and demanding, but he had shown me a different side—one I was slowly falling in love with.
"Did you do it? Did you mark me?" I asked, my voice gradually growing louder, a growl peeping from my chest. I already knew it had to be him, but my heart needed the confirmation. I prayed to the Moon Goddess that he hadn't betrayed me like that. There was no doubt I wanted to be marked by him, but I wanted it on my own terms. I longed for that respect from my fated mate—the same respect I had seen my parents give each other my whole life. I could tell he noticed the pain I felt as he watched my chest rise rapidly in fury. He pressed his lips together, reaching out to hug me. "Yes..."
Anger rippled through me like a volcano erupting, and I pushed Alpha Jaxon back, refusing to let him touch me. "H-how could you? W-why?" I choked out, holding the towel tightly against my body. I wished I had had the strength to change into some clothes before drowning in my sorrows. I learned that Alpha Jaxon didn't take rejection well. He straightened his posture and exuded a dominance almost too much to handle. I felt my legs start to quiver under me, but I was determined not to back down—I was the victim here.
"You are my mate to mark, Adeline. Don't you forget that," he shot at me. His words were cold as ice, emotionless, and felt like shards cutting through me. His hair was a tousled mess, and he now bore bags under his eyes—it was clear he had had a long day and was reaching his limit.
"No. I'm not ANYONE'S to mark, Alpha. I would have expected to be given a choice in the matter, especially from my mate," I replied, numbing the emotion in my voice. I crossed my arms, holding the towel wrapped around my body in place, and turned to look outside the big bay window. Moonlight touched my face, and I closed my eyes, embracing the way it danced on my skin.
His thick, firm arms wrapped around my waist from behind, wrapping me in a chill of calmness. I kept my eyes shut, secretly enjoying the moment. He lodged his head into the crook of my neck, and I couldn't help but cave in as I unknowingly tilted my head slightly to the other side, offering just enough space for his lips to reach my skin. He kissed down my neck sensually, his gentle lips taking their time to taste me. His soft lips circled around his mark, causing a low groan to escape him.
"I'm sorry," he whispered into my ear. "Believe me, Addie, I regret that it happened this way. You were unconscious, losing blood too quickly from the bite on your leg. I got to you too late. When I came in, you were already lying on the floor in a pool of your own blood. I'll never forgive myself for that. I felt my heart crumble inside when the pack doctor said there was nothing left he could do. If I hadn't marked you right then, I would have lost you to that rogue's hands. I couldn't imagine my life without you. You've become the sole reason I breathe—I love you," passion gushing from his heart.
My eyes still closed, I could feel the synchronized tempo of our chests breathing together. He had become the barrel in my ocean. Deep down, I knew I would have done the same thing if it was the only way he could survive.
"Is that why I don't remember you marking me? Is that why I've been feeling so different?" I asked, buried in a million thoughts. He used his arm to turn me around, then returned his arms to my waist, his gaze staring down at me with so much love in his eyes.
"There is no other reason I would have marked you unwillingly, Adeline. Fated mates are eager to mark each other, to carry their mate's mark for eternity. I'm sorry I robbed you of that feeling, but I can't take it back, and if I had to relive the moment, I would do it again," he said and sighed sympathetically.
"If you still can't forgive me and don't want me as your mate, I'll accept it. Your happiness is what I want to live for," he said. I could feel the stabbing in his heart as if it were my own. I narrowed my eyes at him, asking, "And what would you do if I did reject you?"
His golden eyes stared at me painfully. "I could never take another mate after you, Adeline, if that's what you're asking. My wolf and I wouldn't be fulfilled being mated without feeling the sparks that I feel with you."
I couldn't hold myself together any longer; I was melting at his words. I took his face into my hands and kissed him deeply, taking him by surprise. I pulled back breathlessly. "I may accept your reasons, but you'll spend a lifetime paying for this."
I felt his smile beam against my lips as he whispered, "You're really something, aren't you, little wolf?" and connected our lips under the moonlight again.
