Chapter 127: You everything to me
867words
"Yeah? Then why is Monique Starr here?" The question came out before I could stop myself.
His brows furrowed before he released me. "She's a partner, lynn. Nothing nothing less. And because she doesn't do scenes anymore, she now manages several of the actors and actresses I need for my studio to become a success. I know I should have told you, but I didn't think it would be that big of a deal."
I snorted. "It might not have been if you haven't..." I stopped myself before the next words came out. They weren't fair of me to say and Drake didn't deserve them. Who he fucked and/or filmed with before me wasn't my business.
"Haven't what? Fucked her?"
When I didn't say anything and my eyes found Pierre's, he was scowling at me. Yeah, I knew I was being a giant little whiner right now, but god damn it, I couldn't help it!
"That meant nothing to me! Just because she's the only woman I've fucked off camera doesn't mean anything either. Now it's just business."
My eyes whipped back to him and I immediately saw the expression on his face turn to regret for what he had just said. He was always so adamant about not getting into relationships or fucking his co-workers off camera. One of the reasons I trusted him and let my guard down about what he did for a living was because I believed him. He didn't fuck his co-workers off camera and I always believed that was the most professional thing I'd ever heard. I felt better knowing that his career was just that.
This revelation changed everything.
"I'd like to go home," I muttered.
"Great, we were just finishing up here," Drake admitted as he went back around the desk.
"I'd like Pierre to drive me home."
Drake's gaze whipped up to mine as fear and anger spread through his eyes.
"Lynn..."
"Lynn, don't do this again. Don't shut him out," luis demanded.
I knew he was right, but the anger and betrayal I felt was about to overflow. I needed a moment to wrap my mind around everything that would change in my life from here on out. My boyfriend used to be an adult film actor and now owns his own studio. The acceptance to be okay with this was creeping up faster than I was ready for.
"I'm not shutting him out." I turned to Drake, reiterating my statement. "I'm not shutting you out. I just... I, um-"
"I fucked her off camera only once, lynn. Before you and I even got together."
I knew in my heart that he was telling the truth, but I needed a moment to breathe. He had just backed me into a corner to be his temporary photographer and everything else on my list of insecurities were creeping in faster than I wanted them to. I needed a moment before I freaked the hell out.
"It's not just about her, Drake, it's... it's... everything. I just need a moment to figure out how I'm going to be cool with this."
He didn't try to say anything else, and I knew deep down that he understood what I was trying to say.
"We're okay," I pointed between us, "but this," I pointed around me, "is a lot."
With a single nod, Drake sat down in his chair and stared up at me. Acceptance and understanding was written all over his face, but no words came out to console me.
"So I'm going to assume that right now isn't the best time to ask you to be my associate." Luis chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck.
I sobbed and laughed at the same time, loving that my best friend could always bring me back to reality with his stupidly, perfect comments. But one look at Dominick told me that he wasn't in the laughing mood.
Not wanting to leave on a sour note, I rounded his desk and leaned down to lightly kiss his cheek before I whispered into his ear, "I'm sorry for the way that I feel. I love you."
"Don't ever apologize for how you feel, lynn. I want you to feel it all, just don't keep it from me where it creates a problem between us. We learned the hard way that communication is key." Then he looked around me at Luis. "Get her home safely. I'll see you guys there in about an hour."
He brought my hand up to his lips and gently kissed me.
"I love you, lynn. You're the only soul in my life that I've ever loved. Don't ever forget that."
A knot formed in my throat as I stepped away from him and left with Luis. I hated that I had so many insecurities and I would do my best to work through them before they destroyed us. How could I have any doubt about Drake's loyalty to me? To us? Jealousy was a wicked disease that I had to squash immediately.
