I wrapped my arms around myself, with a hiccups. I was used to the darkness but now I felt like it was getting so dark for me and I hadn't seen Gale for while now.
Why am I here, what is the meaning of me being stuck here, I had seen Gale but he didn't talk.
What world is this, what am I doing here, I should in a hospital talking to Brenda.

Why were all my memories with Gale playing in front me, each time I saw his kiss or touch it felt like I was feeling it my self that exact minute.
My man, my husband.. Why did all this have to happen to us when our relationship was just starting.
All the years I had waited to be happy, why was made to watch it all being taken away from me.
Where was this God I always prayed to, why is He just standing still while I am suffering.
Mother Pauline said that You always answer, now why are You Silent God.
Of all people why did it have to Gale, he was sweet and kind. Why did You take him away from me.

But now I felt like all my questions were useless.
I stood up to my feet and scrutinized my eyes trying to see through the darkness, God at least let me see him once.
Just one more time, I want to sooth this ache in me. My emerald eyes scanned the area around me but they couldn't go beyond the thick fog of darkness.
"Gale " I whispered, my voice faint even to my own ears. He was here moments ago then why did he leave, what had I done to be left again.

"Hey " I heard a soft voice but seemed so far away.
My lips curled into a small sad smile "Brenda " I whispered while turning around in circles looking for her delicate oval face.
"Brenda, where are you ? I can't see you " I added.
"I couldn't leave without saying a final good bye "
I heard her voice again, and my brows knitted in confusion.
"What do you mean?" I whispered but this time round I felt like there was a barrier between us and it was blocking my voice from reaching her. I wanted to ask what she meant by final good bye.
"You're so strong Amelia, I just didn't think you would leave us this soon... "
I froze, my mind drifting away from what she was saying. I took a step back and looked around me.
Am I dead, Is that what she meant by final good bye. But I can't be dead yet, what is this place anyway cause it doesn't feel like death.
But Gale.. How can I explain seeing Gale.
"Amy " I snapped my eyes up at Rebecca's voice. I didn't want to hear what has to say.
"Please forgive me ". the dead don't forgive you Idiot, some how I didn't feel any Rage for her like I used to every time I saw her.
I felt numb only but nothing else for her.
" there's something you didn't know, it's not an excuse for my wrong deeds but I guess it's the reason as to why I hurt you and treated our friendship as nothing "
I stood silent listening to Rebecca's voice, I wasn't anxious or curious to hear her next words but being able to hear other people's voice was mentally comforting me making me feel like the world around me was just and illusion.
"Me and Gale grew up together, he was the new boy at school and I was shy girl " I had Rebecca's voice shake with emotions and I felt like holding her hand to comfort her.
I may hate her but am not hurt less, I guess that's why am here.
" I didn't have any friends at that time, I had social problems. But Gale understood me and slowly I developed a crush on him " I heard her sigh and waited patiently for to continue.
I felt proud of course my Gale had a big and great heart, he never judged anyone without looking much deeper.
"I never told him about my secret crush, afraid that I will lose him so I stayed as his friends all those years until you. "
My lips curled in to a smile when the alley, his smile flashed in front of my eyes and tears welled up in my eyes.
"I could see through him that he was falling for you and how you kept friend zoning him and then you rejected his love and I thought that was my chance "
I remembered slapping Gale back at the diner when we first kissed, silly me for losing all that time. If only I knew....
"I pressured aunt Sarah to arrange our marriage knowing that Gale would definitely agree cause he couldn't bare to see his mom hurt. Every thing was set and I thought that I would finally be able to have the man that I love but then you just had to go and realise how much you also love Gale "
With her every word I saw a memory, I could remember that time at the hospital when I first realised that I had feelings for him.
" I encouraged you to go after him remember " I heard a bitter chuckle.
I was wondering why you would encourage me like that and then the next day your words changed Becca.
"I knew you Amy, you were so afraid of love so I didn't expect you to confess soon and Gale's mom was on my side. Knowing Gale, he could never go against his mom but for you he did ".
I inwardly winced, that felt like a knife coming directly for my heart.
" I felt like you snatched him from my grip and swore to break you up. Kenneth's is innocent, I manipulated him into this when I noticed that he was falling for you. I tried using Gale's relationship with mom against you cause I knew you cared about it but it didn't work, I even sent Sarah to your apartment so she could separate the two of you "
I remembered the fights between Gale and his mom. I always noticed how hurt he felt, he would try so hard to hide it from me and I never told him that he was failing. I could see it all.
"I never meant for all this Amelia, I hope you forgive me. Your still my best friend and I won't ever forget you. I will be going now cause the police is waiting for me outside, I will be charged with murder "
I silently listened, I didn't even how to react to this news.
"I love you Amelia, I will miss those silly jokes of yours and that fiery heart of yours. Thank you for being my friend. Am sorry for all I did to you and Gale ".
I didn't her anymore but slowly a felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest, I never wanted to be enemies with her she forced me too.
" I hope you heard her Gale, your best friend is back " I whispered to no one. I couldn't stop thinking about how she felt, all this while she loved Gale and I guess I can't blame her. Doctor Gale Hilton was easy to fall for.
"I guess this it Amelia " I heard Mrs Jones, my doctor that meant that am still alive and at the hospital.
But what I wanted to die right, so what hope am I still holding for life. Why does being alive excite me at all. I wanted to be here with Gale.
But Gale wasn't around with me and that alone was making me so anxious, I wanted see him and hold him but before all that I wanted to hear from Maggie.
I needed how she was doing but how, I have to get out of this place.
My life is also a different story if am to start from when I started to understand how the world works.
But the part I enjoy most is that I got to experience what it feels to love and be loved and trust me it's a good feeling.
What Gale gave me was pure love, it at times scared me but it made me realise a lot of things.
Not every good thing comes with a price, and a heart of gold is what it takes to understand.
I remember the days at the orphanage, I had a mom who I never noticed until now. She was not my real mom but she took good care of me. Mother gave all the love a mother could hold for her child.
When I had nothing to eat for a day but water, Maggie was there with food in her hands. I found a mentor in her. She's one that slaps you and then holds your hand and leads you into the right path. I love her like she was my real mom.
And then Gale, my best friend, my husband and my love. He was my support and strength who would have thought that I would fall for someone like him. In fact I didn't think I would ever fall in love it was never part of my plans.
After that I waited for more voices trying to reach out to me but none came, am I already dead by now. If that's the case then where's Gale.
Since am already dead shouldn't I be able to see Gale, the man that am deeply in love with but still he was no where to be seen.
I sighed in defeat and tried to get used to the darkness around me, all the hope in me was getting shattered with each passing second.
So this is it, my life has such an ending and am the least affected right now it's not like I expected a beautiful life after all this and my cancer was at level were chances of healing were very less.
Things we hope for and fight for mean nothing in this world, we leave them behind.
Before Gale I was used to my loneliness, knowing my life I tried to get used to being an orphan and being alone. I had isolated myself from every thing and then Gale came in my life.
He showed me true love, love that asks for nothing but stays to show you that you aren't as worthless as you think. I can't ever let Gale go even through death, it may sound like repeating myself but it's truth.