Chapter 11
5036words
Click click…
They lie awake, both on their backs, completely naked, staring at the ceiling and not at each other.
The two shared the exact same thought.
Their semi-recluse daughter, Astaria.
“We should really get rid of that clock, it gets irritating during stressful moments like these…” Cadel attempted to kickstart a conversation.
“That was a gift from the neighbouring city nobles. Not sure how they’d feel if we were to get rid of it.”
“Are you saying there’s a chance they might get invited to the royal bedroom and see it missing in the process? Filthy, aren’t you?”
“Do you want me to bring the entire mansion on your head? Because I could do just that, and maybe even some more.”
“Haha… I’m just joshing ya.” He proceeded to reach his hand to his left side where Minerva was lying and caressed her cheek with the palm of his hand, rubbing the underside of her eye with his thumb. “Could never share you with anybody.”
“Hm, of course you can’t.”
Cadel retracted his hand and went back to laying in the same position he was in previously.
“No but seriously, we need to get rid of it.” That warranted a sigh from Minerva who then very swiftly raised her hand, and cast a freeze spell toward the clock.
Click cli–
The device no longer ticked and no longer tocked.
“There you go. Happy?”
“Delighted.” With a smile, Cadel cheerfully answered.
“Don’t say I don’t do anything for you.”
With the middle man who filled some of the silence gone, the couple laid again in absolute silence.
Moments passed with no words being uttered.
They must believe their royal bedroom ceiling holds more value than an important discussion.
“I’m hoping your ‘edge’ has been taken care of.” Minerva spoke up, this time with a bit of an embarrassing question.
“Oh, I can assure you, the edge is absolutely gone. Wouldn’t mind going for another one, the night is very young.”
“Urgh… Trahhos. You didn’t need to go that hard this session, you can never be satisfied, can you?”
“Consider this a blessing. Oh, and stop acting like you didn’t like it.”
“No comment.”
Minerva sighed deeply while gently facepalming.
“Seriously, what are these childish conversations we’re having? We’re over a century old.”
“Always being professional gets dull, boring, and mundane awfully quick. The life of the nobility has always been uneventful, you know that.”
“I guess so. Or you could just admit you’re avoiding the main, important topic we should be having.”
“Maybe you’re righ–” Cadel suddenly shot up from his spot and watched the door very intensely.
He closed his eyes and listened very closely.
“What, what is going on?” Minerva got up as well, turning her attention from him to their front door, searching for any signs of life using her eyes.
But there was nothing to be seen.
“Ugh…” After a moment, Cadel grunted and collapsed straight back on the bed. “False alarm.”
“Care to explain the sudden jump to action?”
“I thought I heard Astaria’s footsteps.” He sighed to himself. “They sounded light and quick, but not only were they from the second floor, it also sounded like they were wearing shoes, which she normally doesn’t bother doing.”
“And I thought you seemed too calm and collected, making me sound like the crazy one here.” She bumped his heavily muscled chest using her closed fist. “Relax, you’re too vigilant and tense.”
“I might be.” Cadel brought his hand up and moved the hair that got in his face out of the way.
“I did tell her the entire floor is going to be empty so she could go out for a walk if she so desired.”
“What?” Cadel looked at her with a perplexed look. “You know that’s a lie, Minerva. We’re right here. She’s going to be able to see us and find out that you lied.”
“There’s no need to worry about that. The walls of our room and the door are insulated with almandine, so she won’t be able to see us. We, however, will be able to see her since our side is doped with onyx.”
“Seriously…? I really wish you’d tell me these things before you do them.”
“Huh, I didn’t see that same sentiment when you were designing this mansion, did I?”
“And yet you decided to give a few of your opinions anyway, the poor engineers couldn’t decline. Now the mansion’s decor looks too chaotic.”
“Variety is the flavour of life, dear.”
“Whatever.”
A question floated Cadel’s mind for a bit.
“She really can’t see us?”
“No, she shouldn’t be able to. It’s been refined properly to prevent spying or penetration.”
“Even with her eyes?”
Minerva stayed quiet for a few seconds.
Being honest with herself, she never truly tested Astaria's eyes to their fullest capabilities, so she’s completely ignorant of the extent of their powers.
“I… am not sure.”
“Great. One more thing to worry about.”
Minerva's anxiety started building up, her hand slithered up through the covers, finger headed straight to her mouth.
Cadel, without looking, anticipated her action and grabbed her hand before she could indulge herself in her nail.
“No.” He gripped her hand and held it in his.
“Urgh.” She scowled but didn't take her hand away.
“I can hear your heart race. Is it me or Astaria that had that effect on you, I wonder…”
Minerva ignored her husband’s snarky remark and instead thought deeply about something that’s been bothering her.
“By the stars, books?! After vehemently and openly despising them, she all of a sudden wanted to read books?!?!”
“I must admit, that is indeed an unusual turn of events…”
“When I wrote the book for her and gifted it to her to read, she acted like it burnt the gilded canopy down right in front of her very eyes, and now she’s suddenly interested in them?!”
“Think about it for a moment. She might be too energetic, rowdy, and sometimes out of control, but in the end she’s just a kid who loves pleasing and helping people.” Cadel attempted to give a reasonable explanation. “It could be that she thought she might’ve hurt or disappointed you by denying your decade’s work and decided–on a whim–to open up her heart to a book or three.”
“But I’m neither disappointed nor hurt…”
“Doesn’t matter what you believe, Astaria is her own person who has irrational feelings and impulsive thoughts.”
“Urgh…” She grabbed her hair with her free hand. “FUCK.”
“Language.”
Once again, silence filled the room and the couple laid there, completely lost on what action to take.
“This won’t do.” Cadel abruptly got up and headed straight to their shared wardrobe, sliding its door open.
“What’re you doing?” Confused, Minerva asked as he looked through the wardrobe, rummaging through the clothes, looking for something to wear.
“Sitting here the whole day–the whole week will bring us nowhere. We need to take action and that action needs to be taken right now.” Once he found something appropriate to wear, he started dressing himself up.
“But won’t leaving her alone be better, to figure out her thoughts and organize them?”
“Sure, if she was an adult or a soldier. But now we are dealing with a kid who doesn’t know her left from her right.” The fit was complete. Just normal, plain black pyjamas.
“Cadel I’m sorry but… I don’t think you’ll succeed.”
“Why, because you consider me to be a musclehead?”
“Because I am a whole 15 centimeters taller than you?”
“Because I am a big, terrifying man who’s capable of killing giant lizards?”
“What is it then?! You already tried consoling her but as you can see, something else broke! I believe it is my right to try as well.”
“This isn’t a game where you can take multiple shots at.”
“No, but you know what it is? I am her father, and I am worried about her and her health. So, to the best of my abilities, I’ll try to bring her out of that void.”
Minerva said no more, just stared at her husband with sad, drippy eyes.
“So, how do I look?”
“Take off these dark, gloomy pyjamas, you need a brighter and a more inviting colour.”
“Like what?”
“You cannot be serious.”
“I could not have been any more serious. Come on, it's her favourite. She’ll be more relaxed after seeing it, I’m sure.” Minerva smiled at the thought of seeing her husband in pink clothing.
Without replying, Cadel rummaged through the wardrobe once again looking for a pair of bright-coloured, pink pyjamas. Once in hand, he swiftly took off the pair he had on and put them on, throwing the older one onto the royal bed.
“Now? Not even sure why we have these.”
“Perfect!” She clapped her hands with a wider smile. “Come here for a second.” Cadel obeyed, wondering what else she’ll do.
She motioned him to bring his head down to her level and then held his hair back into a bun, after that she proceeded to conjure a magic spell that consisted of a long, sharp ice rod and pierced his bun to keep it shapely.
“Really?” He felt the rod with his hand, the cold emitting from the rod evident on the back of his head. “Won’t that melt?”
“That will not melt so you don’t have to worry about it.”
“Great. A two-meter-tall man with a stubble looking like a children’s toy.”
“Anything for your daughter. Also, make sure to put on some pink, fluffy slippers.”
“I am unsure if I’ll even be able to bring her out, Minerva.” Cadel sighed defeatedly as he slipped his feet into the slippers without complaining. “For all I know, all this effort could be for nothing.”
“Only time will tell…”
After inspecting himself and his attire in the body mirror a bit, Cadel went straight for the exit.
“I’m heading out.”
He grabbed the knob and twisted it, breathing in and out.
“Cadel.” Minerva suddenly called out to him. “Please, bring our daughter back…” with a melancholic look on her face, she begged.
Now, with a more determined look on his face, Cadel left the royal bedroom as he embarked on a mission that is more damning and difficult than any he’d faced since the great impact war.
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
Walking left, down the hallway, toward my daughter’s room. I looked to my right at the beautiful, starry night sky.
The moon is bright, nearing its highest peak with clear stars decorating the sky around it. Minerva imposing the ‘dim the lights’ law was not a bad idea, gotta give her that.
The long distance between our royal bedroom and Astaria’s room is giving me some time to think. I could cut the time to one second to arrive at her door, but that would not be so smart.
This is not usually the type of thing I do.
Pep-talks, motivational and inspirational phrases, and pumping someone’s spirit up. I run an academy with a large number of children, sure, but I deal more with the paperwork, financial stability, yearly orientation, and the core educational subjects.
Minerva is the one who deals with the stability of Fluorin and the will of its people. She’s able to handle individuals and train them properly toward a better future. Not saying I’m a weak bum of sorts who lets his wife do everything, but I’m completely spent from the aftermath of the war and rebuilding Fluorin.
I feel a cold breeze scrape my neck. I wear my hair down most of the time, so the combination of a bun and these damn light, pink pyjamas is bound to make me feel cold…
I let out a cold breath. Winter is leaving us and spring is coming, and with spring comes holidays, ceremonies, and… Astaria’s birthday.
Luril is going to be an interesting month. After 9 long years we’d finally be ready to show the people of Fluorin our precious daughter.
I wonder how they’re going to react? With incredible awe and loud applause for how adorable she is, I am hoping.
Chuckling to myself lightly as I look far towards the horizon at the dim buildings, but the chuckle fades swiftly.
My dear… What happened, I wonder.
You were such a bubbly child from a young age, able to stand up to and fight anything that stands in your way, manipulating the workers that Minerva painstakingly trained to monitor you with your voice and actions, almost like a siren. Hell, some of your little tricks even worked on your mother and me.
But now… You seem afraid of everything, even afraid of me, your dear father.
Your fear has consumed you, covered your heart and eyes, and plunged you into a depressive darkness, making you incapable of living your precious childhood. But I assure you, I’ll pull you out of it.
That is my duty, as your dad.
I might be a Trahho, but as I aged, I’ve slowly lost my way with charm and charisma, and I’ve become less proficient than my people.
But I’ve been told that speaking from the heart and honesty are better than any silver tongue a Trahho could possibly possess.
A few moments passed as I kept myself occupied with my own thoughts, and I finally arrived at my destination, Astaria’s room. My heart is beating like a kit of drums, I could count the number of times I’ve felt this anxious before in my entire life using my fingers.
Truly a difficult and grueling task, even none of the dragons I’ve faced didn't make me feel like this.
As I stood in front of her bedroom door, I focused my hearing to check up on her status, through her heartbeat.
Since I’m able to hear nothing, it seems like she’s still asleep.
Here goes nothing…
I raised my hand and extended it a bit toward her door.
With bated breath, I knock gently.
Knock knock
“Astaria…?” Only from these two simple knocks, Astaria woke up.
Bum bum bum…
Slowly, her heart gave out faint but audible beats.
“Dear, it’s me, your dad… But you most likely already knew that from my voice, and if not my voice, then my rings. You have your mother’s impressive eyes after all.”
What the hell am I saying? Vomiting out word after word with no clear sense of direction.
“I hope you finished the meal your mom delivered to you; she worked quite hard on it...”
I know I came here with nothing planned, but this is worse than I thought. Nothing is coming up in my mind except for a few sentences only worth small talk. Small talk that’s worthless when it comes down to pulling someone out of a deep slump.
Bump–bump–bump–bump…
Her heartbeats are now more audible, beating quicker and harder as these short seconds we share pass.
Mine beats faster with hers, too, staying in rhythm. I don’t think my heart has ever beaten this fast before…
Taking a deep breath in and out, trying to calm myself down while simultaneously attempting to filter out the sound of her heartbeats as much as I can.
Standing there saying nothing is only driving us both insane.
I need to start talking.
“Sweetheart…”
I finally opened my mouth, getting ready to spill my heart out.
“I’ve heard about the nightmare you went through from your mother. It must’ve been so scary being there alone, getting hurt for no apparent good reason...”
Rehashing bad memories hurts significantly, but the only way to break through is to talk about them and face them directly.
“...Your mind playing tricks on you, making you believe we’d hurt you just by approaching you. But by the gods, you were so strong. So strong to leave your room, to have a meal and converse with everyone who interacted with you. You smiled toward each of them even when you were hurt, you hid how you felt in front of all of them, and only let your cheerful self out…”
I placed my hand flat on her bedroom door, feeling its cold touch spread to my palm and fingers.
“I… cannot imagine how difficult it’s been for you, playing up a tiring facade when you were getting ripped apart from deep within. So tough and resilient, possibly even more than me.”
I take a short pause to chuckle before continuing.
“You might feel incapable and unworthy, and through these irrational feelings, you feel like you don’t deserve our company or love. But there’s one thing I can assure you: you’ll never be alone, and we will never abandon you, nor will we let you get hurt or hurt you.”
From the other side of the door, I received a faint response in the form of a soft sniffle. Her ears are listening, but I hope my sincerity is reaching her heart as well…
With newfound courage from her sniffle, I continue talking.
“Your mother and I would immediately bolt into action if we noticed danger heading your way. And if, by some curse, we were absent, then Cyrus and his team would protect you… And if they were absent, then the guards of this manor would protect you… If those were absent as well, then the people of Fluorin would lay their lives down for you. If all measures fail and everyone isn’t there for you–then what good is a world that stands aside and watches you be hurt? That’s a world that has sinned, one that does not deserve to exist.”
The speech took a dark turn, but I needed to drive the point home. It seems as though it was effective, as I heard another sniffle. Except this time, it was more audible.
Though I haven’t felt any urgent call to action from her movements, not even sitting up from her bed.
It seems she’s still just lying there, listening to me speak.
“Are you perhaps still worried about the library incident?”
I decided to get more daring, this time bringing up another bad memory.
Judging by her raised heartbeat and quickened breath, I imagine this is indeed a tough thing to uncover.
Cruel, I know, but more than necessary.
Sighing to myself before continuing, I rest my back on the cold wall next to her bedroom door, sliding down as I feel my pyjama shirt fold upward on itself, my bun and rod scrape on the cold wall until I finally reach the bottom, where I now sit.
“Listen, dear… that library? No matter how many times it’s ruined, whether it’s a hundred or a thousand times, it does not matter, not even a little bit. It could be roasted with fire, submerged in water, or carried far away by a storm; none of it matters… Why? Because we can rebuild it a thousand times and still retain its quality and soul. ‘’But the books…’ you might wonder, I assure you, sweetheart, we can rewrite or commission those any time we so desire; it does not matter. And the furniture? The manor is filled with those; we can replace them easily as well. You can even burn down the whole manor, and we’d rush toward you instead of the manor's smoky ashes.”
The covers and blankets of her bed rustled with small movements from her, proving to me that she’s still there, still listening.
“But you…? We can never rebuild a new you. We can never–no matter how much we could dream, no matter how many miracles we may luck out on–ever hope to have a daughter like you. Dear, you are our precious and endearing daughter whom we could never wish harm upon. It matters little how many times you thought you maddened or disappointed us; we will never abandon you.”
Astaria’s demeanor went from faint sniffles to now full-on crying gasps. Making her cry pains my soul more than anything, but I’m hoping all of this is worth it.
If it’s not, then it’s possible I broke her even more than before…
I wish I could shove the door open, rush toward her, and give her a big hug, but that would not be a wise action to take.
“Without you–without your energy, presence, and love–there wouldn’t be us. You were a product of a full century’s love, the foundation of Fluorin’s security and safety–that your mother and I have been maintaining–were all to make sure you’d be able to live a long, comfortable, healthy life without worries or concerns. We truly do love and care for you, no matter what you do.”
With that, my long, heartfelt speech ended.
Now is about the time to ask the real question. I’m sure she’s tired of hearing me yap for half an hour.
“Astaria…” Ignoring Minerva’s advice, I decided to test my luck anyway. “Would you… Please open the door and let me see you…?”
Sitting there, awaiting a response–any response–from her with anticipation. It matters not if it’s a ‘no’ or a ‘yes’, I just want to hear my baby’s voice.
Her cries completely ceased, but there was no reply. Not even a moan, groan, or a grunt.
Her heart rate is skyrocketing more than before. I must’ve stressed her out too much with my last demanding request.
I sighed to myself as I got up from my resting place.
It’s a shame, but maybe Minerva was right.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. I do not blame you for how you feel. Please take however much time you need. We’ll wait for you, even until the end of time…”
I really cannot do this after all.
Slowly, I started walking away as I dusted the back of my clothes and straightened my shirt properly.
But just as I was about to leave…
Tap-tap-tap-tap
I heard quick, light, and naked footsteps getting closer to me in quick succession. I turn around swiftly with my eyes wide open, praying to all that’s holy that these sounds are what I think they are.
The footsteps stopped at the opposite side of the closed bedroom door.
Anxiety, evident on my face as I stood there, watching the door intently as the door handle shook and twisted slowly with great reluctance.
The door steadily opened, and from it emerged my little girl.
Her shiny, starry, golden eyes were narrow with tears flowing down her face onto the bedroom floor, one hand gripping her pyjama pants tightly and the other on the door handle, holding the door open but only enough to show herself. Her hair was quite messy, and her lips were sucked into her mouth as she painfully bit into them.
Some of the penetrating moonlight coming from the covered windows showed her whole body trembling and shaking as she stood there, patiently waiting for me to say or do anything.
I could not believe what my eyes were seeing.
I… actually succeeded.
Without a chance for a break or hesitation, I stayed in my spot, except I kneeled down on one knee, making sure I was at her eye level.
She stared at me and I at her, our gazes unbroken as the time passed. I, being the one who started all of this, spoke first.
“Curse whoever put a tear on that beautiful face of yours, let alone this many.”
She pushed the door wider, and with it being fully open; I could now see the rest of her room, including the empty food platter right behind her. I’m glad she finished it. Minerva would be more than ecstatic to hear that .
Her hand let go of the handle and is now situated right in front of her, tightening it on the other side of her pants.
Thankfully, she doesn’t look as terrified, even if her heart is still beating like an overclocked engine. Her anxiety, however, is still present–unyielding and only growing deeper as time grows.
“How are you feeling? Are you alright? Feeling okay? Are you tir–” I bite my tongue before I keep spouting any more nonsense.
“Ahem… I apologize I got too… excited there for a moment.”
I divert my gaze away from embarrassment and I cough a bit as I try to recollect my thoughts. Once confident, I look back, meeting her eyes again.
“Was the meal tasty?”
Astaria nodded her head, approvingly.
“Right? Your mom doesn’t cook often due to time restraints, but if she heard your praises she might change her mind.”
Her hands loosened up. Not by much at all, but enough to notice.
“Are you… mad at me?” For the first time in too long, I finally heard her sweet, soothing voice. It was a teary sentence, but it came straight from the heart.
“Of course not. Cross my heart nobody here is even remotely mad at you.” I answer her question directly without attempting to add anything verbose.
“Really? Even after I destroyed the library…?”
“That was just a mistake, sweetie. I am more than sure that you didn’t mean to do that on purpose. And I don’t want to repeat my words, but the library means nothing to us. Only you do.” Giving her a gentle, warm smile, I try to assure her. “Besides… I’d say what you did back there was more impressive than terrifying. Seriously, so much power packed in that spell. You are truly your mother’s daughter.”
It could be the lack of light playing tricks on my eyes, but I could’ve sworn a little smile appeared on her face for a short moment.
“What about Rose…?”
“What about her?”
“Did you… fire her? Or did you heavily berate her?”
“Oh, it’s just like you to be concerned for someone else’s well-being.”
Masking my hesitation to respond, unsure if I should be truthful with her or not.
“Rosaline was not fired, no, but we might’ve disciplined her quite a bit for leaving you alone.”
“I knew it…” More tears streamed down her face, and her sadness grew. “It was my fault, I asked her to get me some snacks so that she wouldn’t watch me cast a spell and try to stop me…”
So, that’s what happened… Clever girl.
“Nono, dear, it’s alright, truly. As I’ve mentioned, Rosaline was not fired, nor was she hurt. We could never fire someone you personally chose, unless of course you want us to”
“No! I don’t want that! I want her to stay!” She immediately answered while shaking her head violently.
“Then Rosaline is staying.” I responded calmly.
A moment of silence filled the hallway as I waited patiently for what else was on her mind.
“What about Cyrus…?”
“What about him?”
“Was he scolded by mom? Or was he completely let go?”
“I’m unaware of which action your mother will take, however I can assure you, Cyrus will stay, as long as you want him to.”
“I want him to stay…” She assertively replied. “Please...”
“Then Cyrus shall stay.” How could I possibly refuse a request from you when you ask so innocently? What kind of heartless bastard would do that?
The tightening of her grip loosened significantly, and now she completely let go of her pants. Her racing heart now beats slower and appeared to be much calmer, and so did her face.
A few more moments of silence pass, as I, once again, wait to hear more of her worries.
“Are you…” she choked on her words, this must be important. “mad at me…?”
“Absolutely not. What makes you say that?”
“Because… I got terrified by you twice and passed out both times…”
“You might’ve. But right now, you’re standing right here, in front of me and talking to me, aren’t you?” She gently nodded her head. “Besides, I don’t hold grudges. Especially not toward you, dearie.”
Her body shook and trembled no more, her tears dried, and her hands are now straight by her sides.
“There is no need to be afraid, I’m right here, we are all right here for you, and we will forever remain by you. What you did was a simple mistake that can be easily fixed. You aren’t evil, Astaria, you’re just flawed, and that is okay. Do you understand me?” As gently and calmly as possible, I assure her.
She, in return, nodded her head with a small smile on her face.
“I’m glad.”
Taking the next step, I slowly extended my arms forward toward her, desperately wanting to hold her.
“May I…?” I softly said.
She, understanding my question, thought for a second but then immediately nodded, giving me permission to close the distance between us.
I get up from my position and I slowly walk toward her, with that same gentle smile on my face. Once I reached her, her body began to tremble again, and her eyes closed shut.
Her heart rate increased rapidly, and her breathing became erratic.
“It’s okay, I won’t hurt you.” I knelt in front of her, and slowly wrapped my arms around her, feeling her small frame.
I pull her gently to my chest as the warmth of her body transfers to mine, being completely lost in incredibly euphoria.
Her body trembled more and more, but being the strong girl she is, she fought against it by slowly wrapping her small, short arms around my wide back.
“It’s alright… it’s alright…”
I started tearing up a little, but I tried my damndest to hide it as she gave out muffled cries and pushed herself deeper into my chest.
“I’m right here, baby…” Tightening my arms around her more. “I’m right here.”
I gently carried her, and headed straight toward her bed. Her feet dangled in the air, and she kicked them a little before staying in place, completely entrusting herself to me.
We reached her bed, and I softly laid down on it with her still in my arms and hers around my back.
I adjusted our postures, making us more comfortable as I looked down at her face to get a good look at her.
Her face looked calmer than ever, eyes relaxed, and heartbeat gentle and slow.
Minerva, you were wrong.
I’ve done it.
