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My face was blank as I watched Emma’s face turn purple,her struggles weakening,her legs stilling.
A force yanked me off,slamming me into the sink’s sharp edge.Pain shot through my waist.
Ethan held Emma,roaring,“Lily,are you insane?”
My thoughts snapped back.I realized what I’d done.
I almost killed her.
“No,no,I didn’t mean…”I stammered.
“You’re vicious!I saw it,and you’re still lying!”Ethan’s eyes burned with disappointment.
His gaze crushed me.Shame enveloped me.
I wanted to hide.
The voices returned,relentless.
“Lily,you’re disgusting.”
“I was just playing with you.”
“You’re so stupid,trash,filthy.”
I clutched my head,screaming.
Ethan froze,frowning.“What’s wrong with you?Still won’t admit it?The hospital didn’t cure you.”
“No,please,I can’t go back!”I knelt,banging my head,begging.“I’ll be good,Ethan,please.”
He stared as blood trickled from my forehead.
“No,this lunatic needs to go back!”Emma rasped,glaring from his arms.
I shook my head in terror.
Ethan hesitated.
“No,I won’t go back.My mind’s fine!”
Run,escape,get out!
I scrambled up,but Ethan grabbed me.“Where are you going?”
He was a cockroach,dragging me to hell.
I bit his arm,hard.He yelped,releasing me.
I crashed through the door,laughing maniacally.
“I’m free!I’m free!I don’t have to go back!”
In the mansion,Dad and Mom saw me barefoot,arms outstretched,running wildly.Their faces paled.
The staff whispered,“She’s fresh from the hospital and already crazy again…”
“Seize her!”Ethan ordered.
The staff swarmed,restraining me.
No,freedom!
I reached out,grasping at nothing.
No one heard me.
In this house,I was always insignificant.
They sedated me.I lay in bed,staring at the ceiling,afraid to close my eyes,terrified I’d wake in hell.
But sleep won.
I dreamed of my past,long buried.
My real dad loved liquor.Sober,he’d pat my head,give me money,and say,“Sweetie,buy Daddy some beer.”
I’d bring it home,and he’d grin,“Good girl.”
Drunk,he turned monstrous,smashing chairs on Mom,cursing her as a whore,calling me a bastard who should’ve been drowned.
Mom used to shield me,but over time,she grew cold,glaring at me with resentment.
“Why were you born?You’re dragging me down,”she’d say.
“It’s all your fault.”
I didn’t know my crime,but if Mom said I was wrong,I was.
I apologized,but her hatred grew.
One night,Dad dragged Mom from the elevator,knife in hand,ready to kill her.
He didn’t succeed.
I’d slipped him antibiotics with his beer.
He was rushed to the hospital but didn’t make it.
After Dad died,Mom wanted to abandon me.
She took me to an amusement park,promising ice cream.
I knew she meant to leave me.
I waited all day.No ice cream.
But Mom came back,crying,hugging me,swearing she’d never leave.
She broke that promise,too.
Soon,she married Ethan’s father.
She introduced me to Ethan,saying,“He’s your brother now.Get along.”
I looked at the polished boy playing on his new tablet,his face indifferent.
I stood awkwardly beside him,thinking,He has so much.He won’t steal Mom from me,right?
I didn’t know he’d never compete—everyone already orbited him.
I had nothing,always.
Waking,I snuck out,fearing they’d send me back.
In a thin dress,I stood on a bridge overlooking Bayview.
Skyscrapers lined the river,their lights shimmering.The dark water sparkled despite the starless sky.
So beautiful.
If one night,stars blanketed the sky,and I could float in the waves,I’d be happy.
Would I die alone like an island,or drift to the ocean’s far shore?
Cars roared,people buzzed,giving the city life.
I felt utterly alone.
The briny river wind stung my face,damp and cold.
My mind wasn’t fully healed.
Then or now,my life felt meaningless.
Mom said it’d be better if I’d never been born—she could’ve left Dad.
Dad called me a bastard,a leech on his money.
Ethan said being loved by a lunatic like me was disgusting.
