Chapter 54
1001words
On a count of three he removed the sheets and infront of me laid the lifeless bodies of my bestfriends.
They looked bad.
Almost unrecognisable.
I took in another breath and a sob escaped me.
I breathed in.
I breathed out.
I was getting lightheaded and slowly my vision became blurry until all I saw was black.
Finally sleep.
Nayra
Three days later we all gathered in a church full of people wearing black and above us all hung a big cloud of sorrow.
Sadness and exhaustion.
I listened as her mother gave out a speech on how she was a great daughter and everything.
I was suggested to go speak but I did not trust myself to fathom a word without breaking down so because of that I sat in the crowd as I waited for the moment none of us wanted to reach.
The service finally finished and I followed outside right behind my parents with Ansel in my hands.
My black heels clicked on the concrete tiles on the steps of the huge church and my black trousers stretched enough for me to keep up with my parents.
I had on black sunglasses with a black long trench coat and ankle boots.
I had on black baggy leather pants and a turtle neck inside the trench coat.
Amala was in a black long skirt with knee high boots and a long sleeve with black sunglasses and her natural hair was let free today creating an afro.
On my side Josiah walked with me as I kept my gaze down closely following my parents.
When we finally reached their car they took Ansel from my hands and Josiah guided me to the car we came in without words being exchanged.
When we reached at the graveyard I froze.
So many thoughts ran in my head and one being that I was never going to see them again.
I have got to be dreaming. I said to myself slowly and I felt a hand rub my forearms into comfortation.
I couldnt even cry.
I had been crying for a whole week and I felt as if I had no more tears left.
Mostly in the office I would catch myself crying out of no where and once an employee who was to drop files caught me crying and felt as uncomfortable as ever around me after that.
I almost chuckled.
After composing myself we walked out of the car and followed the people who gathered at the two holes that were six feet and probably a little deeper and my eyes fixed themselves on the two closed coffins.
Josiah still stood next to me and I leaned on him even more.
From the other side my father watched us and I had a feeling questions were going to attack me especially from him.
I felt someone pull me into them and with a surprised yelp I fell into the familiar chest and sighed.
He rubbed my back and I hugged him even tighter.
"How are you holding?" He asked when we broke a part.
"Fine I guess.
I feel better than how I was feeling earlier this week" I said looking at him and he finally met eyes with Josiah.
"Bryson Hotch" he said raising his hand for Josiah to shake in which he did probably after hearing that he was my brother.
Rolling my eyes behind the dark lenses of the sunglasses that I had on I stepped aside and watched as they lowered the casquettes in their graves and my eyes became glassy.
A lone tear fell down my cheek and I removed my sunglasses to wipe it.
"You will be alright" he said after kissing my temple.
I just nodded my head hoping that maybe he was right.
"I guess Ansel stays with me until next week" my mom said as we sat in the small restaurant that held pots of plants hanging.
It was my mother my brother and my dad was carrying Ansel.
"Yeah" I said looking out of the window and I suddenly felt guilty because of how I had been treating them.
I had been ignoring their calls and most importantly I was failing at my job as a parent to care for my son.
My mother sighed.
She had forced me to come with them and said that it would help me get out of my little sorrow zone for a moment but it did nothing.
After sitting in pure silence with only Ansel making noise probably due to how oblivious he was of the whole situation I finally rose to leave.
"Look just three days and on wednesday I'll come for him.
I just need to work on myself a little bit and I'll call you tonight" I said pushing the chair behind just as the food they ordered came.
My mother gave me hooded eyes and my father's showed sympathy.
My brother shook his head and at that moment I could careless.
When Ansel saw me leaving he screamed my name and rose his tiny hands for me to carry him.
My heart swelled and I immediately walked to him took him in my hands and kissed his forehead.
"Mommy will see you tomorrow okay?" I said and he responded with a very loud no making people look in our way some with curiosity and the rest with anuisance.
Giving him back to my father I ignored his cries then took my purse to head out.
I really wasn't about to go home with a kid who would be seeing me break down every passing second so in order to save my dignity and pride I left him at my parent's place.
When I opened the door to my house I almost jumped out of my skin when I saw Josiah sitting there looking comfortable as if this was his house.
