Chapter 125
1542words
"Paris!" I called out, chasing after him, until he finally paused, "Please don't do this to me." I cried out, his back turned to me.
He turned to me and he looked so angry, so cold and I wondered how I had managed to ruin everything. Muddle it up so bad that he couldn't even look at me with an ounce of love or compassion any longer,
"why?"
"why? Because I have no place to go if you send me away." I said sounding as broken as I should have and he glowered at me,
"then go home, Kate. It's about damn time that you went home!" he shouted and I took an instinctive step back,
"but I can't," I said sadly, and he drew his brows together,
"What do you mean that you can't? you went home a couple of weeks ago. What's stopping you from going home now?"
"I wasn't completely honest with you when I came back. Paris, they weren't so pleased to see me. I've told you how everyone blames me for what happened with my uncle and his son. Nothing's changed, even now."
"including the cousin who you pay to do terrible things."
"Even him, Paris. And to tell you the truth, he was the one who called me. He was the one who told me he had news about you going to see her, and I guess… I guess I gave into my intrusive thoughts and asked him to hurt Ember. I'm admitting to that now. But believe me Paris, that was the only time!"
"It might have been the only time, but the cost of that choice you made was too much. I got hurt, Kate!"
"Only because you chose to take the fall for her."
"so, I was supposed to simply let her get hurt? You don't even have the slightest bit of remorse for what you've done."
"I do. Of course, I do. I'm sorry I hurt you in the process, Paris. You can't know how very sorry I am. But please, don't let me leave this place. I don't know how I'd leave without you. Even if I did your bidding and left, I could not possibly live without you. But I genuinely don't know where to go. Nobody loves me anymore." I said sadly and Paris ran a hand through his hair, in a move that was frustration through and through,
"Kate, do you really think I care? Do you really think I'm going to make it any of my concern whether you feel loved?"
"This is more than feeling loved, Paris. This is about me being sure that if I ever wandered back home, nobody would welcome me. Nobody would want me."
"This is none of my concern, Kate!"
"It's every bit of your concern. For so long, I've been your responsibility, if I left this place and something happened to me, what would you do?"
"Exactly, nothing. I wouldn’t do a thing. You've made your bed, so why don't you go right ahead and lay in it?"
"no. That's not true. You don't mean that. You can't possibly want anything to do with me to the point of not caring what happens to me. Paris, you couldn't possibly do that could you?"
"You'd be surprised. Your biggest fear is how your family would receive you if you decided to wander home. then perhaps you should have thought about this before you decided to hurt people who have done no wrong to you, should you have not?"
I stood there with tears forming in my eyes hoping that he would be even somewhat compassionate, or feel even a little bit sorry for me, but his expression remained closed off and cold,
"it was for you, Paris," I said sadly and he raised a brow,
"Excuse me?"
"I did what I did because of my love for you. I know it might be hard to believe that, or even conceive it because of how vile it may seem, but I did what I did because I love you and the idea of losing you scares the hell out of me."
"I'm glad that you see just how vile your actions were. But to say that you did what you did for me? That's stretching it a whole lot, do you not think, Kate?" he said dryly and I felt as though I was on the brink of losing my mind due to the fact that he was not seeing me and didn't care if I was hurting or not.
He didn't see or care that I was hurting for him,
"It's true though." I said honestly, and sighed as the first tear fell down my lips, "It's true that everything I did, every single thing I've done since we met each other, I've done for you."
"I didn't ask you to do any of those things. Those were choices you made thinking that one way or the other, they would favor you. They would somehow make me want to live a life with you. Who told you that was the way love worked?"
"I don't know. I've never been in love before."
"I see. There are many who have never been in love before, but they don't make the choices that you've made. In the name of that thing you call love, you have made the vilest, darkest, and most terrible choices known to man. I rebuke that thing you call love. I want no part in it."
I placed a hand over my breaking heart, as though that would settle it,
"you're hurting me," I said, my lips trembling. I've pretended and lied about a whole lot of things in my existence, but there was no way I was lying or pretending about my heart being rented in two by Paris."
"Here's the problem, Kate. I tried to avoid this with you, but you refused time and time and again."
"Of course I refused!" I yelled, "Do you think I have any desire to lose you? I love you!"
"And I love Ember! I kept trying to get that point across to you, but you won't receive it, for the longest time, Kate, I've only truly loved Ember. I don't plan to love anyone else besides her. Can't you simply sit with that?"
"no," I said sniffing, and scrubbed at my cheeks. No, I simply cannot. I simply will not. Because to lose you would be to lose at life itself, and I simply will not."
"Oh my good heavens! " he shouted and ran a hand through his hair, "you're impossible. You are simply impossible. Are you aware of that?"
"I'll be whatever I need to be to hold on to you."
"screw that/ screw all of that, Kate. Because whether you like it or not, my decision about you leaving this place still stands. Leave. In the next two days, be out of here, or the measures I would have to enforce against you will only further break the heart that you claim is broken. Only, I wonder how a heart like yours could actually break." he said and simply turned away from me.
How could he have been so cold to me? I wondered as I watched him walk back to the house.
I blew out settling breaths until I felt more like myself, and when I was sure that my hands and lips no longer wobbled, I dug into my pocket for my phone and searched for my cousin's name. He was the one I was supposed to be meeting when I came in here. But I hadn't expected that Paris would be following me.
Perhaps, he must have seen Paris or heard him and retreated. Whatever choice he chose to make, I still needed to tell him not to come.
And then, have a conversation that clears the air,
"Hello?" he answered on the first ring and I narrowed my brows,
"where are you?" I whispered,
"avoiding trouble. You and your beloved hubby seemed to be having a throwdown."
So I was right. He had chosen a different route.
"a throwdown that was all your fault. None of this would be happening if you had not gone ahead and chosen to get caught."
"Oh please. Do you think you have a problem now? Just wait until everybody else knows that you tried to hurt the alpha prince's beloved pet."
"damn you." I spat into the phone, "What do you want?"
"Nothing, except my pay. And I'm even willing to disappear from your life."
"you really think I'd pay you for that trashy work you did? Keep dreaming." I said and he laughed a mirthless laugh,
"then be prepared to face what comes,"
"to hell with you and you damned threat." I spat into the phone, "You can do whatever you like!" I said and turned the phone, regretting with all my heart the moment I had let him lure me into a deal with him.
But he was the least of my problems. Pari had refused to change his mind about me leaving and I had only one more person to seek help from before all of this became a reality.
Luna Lara.
