Chapter 90
1528words
Together William and I walked toward Jean and his pack where they laughed and shared beer bottles. I tugged at Jean's sleeve and he turned to look at me,
"ready to leave?" he asked and I nodded,
"but William has something to talk to you about."
"I see." Jean said, looking from me to William who wore something akin to a scowl, "well."
"Ember was right when she said to me that both our pack members are responsible for the choices they make. However, I'm sorry that my members sought out trouble by tagging your men as the vandals. Perhaps if they had just gone on their way, we would have the real vandals by now."
"Perhaps. I've called a few of my men, they'll check the lowlands for any wayward activity. A little bit more wayward than my men can be." Jean said and a few of his men chuckled lightly, "In any case, I'm sorry they attacked yours. The French aren’t particularly known for their patience."
I smiled at both of them, "How nice. We're all friends again. Jean, I'm ready to go home!" I called out,
"at your service, my lady," he said quietly and said a few words to his men before he started back to the car, but I lingered so I could say a proper goodnight to William,
"It's good to have seen you, regardless of the situation in which we've ended up."
"a win's a win, for all that," he said softly, and I bit my lower lip,
"I suppose. I'll call you tomorrow, as I have a few ideas concerning Paris."
"the divorce?" he asked, and I nodded,
"But, that's for tomorrow. I'm already tired. "
"That's all fine and good. Tomorrow it is then. Have a good night."
He pulled me into a hug before I could say anything, and kissed my cheek goodnight. If it was done to spite Jean or lay a claim, I said nothing. I wasn't trying to indulge him, but I had no energy to keep up with what he was trying or not trying to do.
"Thank you," Jean said when he dropped me off. There was a car behind us, and I suppose that was his beta ready to pick him up. The man was dedicated.
"for what? You're the one who showed me the stars. I'm even considering a repeat."
"a repeat," he said, and I could have sworn he seemed as though he was in a dream-like state. "I think I would really like that."
He leaned closer, and just when I turned he would try to kiss me, he simply gave my cheek a chaste peck,
"Thank you, " he said again, "for being the heroine of the night."
I think I floated on the clouds all the way to my room. That was simply just how tired I was. And that night while I slept, I
dreamt of hooligans and bridges over water.
~~~~
"rise and shine, sleeping beauty." I heard from somewhere within my subconscious, and wanted to weep when I began to feel someone shaking me by my shoulder,
"don’t do this to me, Ashley." I moaned, because her voice finally registered, and her scent filled my nose and I was painfully being dragged out of sleep. "I told you I was okay."
"you're okay, which explains why it's nearly noon and you're still sleeping. Of course, you're perfectly fine."
"I'm still sleeping because I got back really late yesterday. Please, let me sleep." I said, and caught a pillow, and placed it over my head.
"What were you doing out late?" she asked, and relented from dragging the pillow, and simply laid down next to me,
I didn't answer immediately, in hopes that the silence would help me go back to sleep. It didn't
So I sighed in aggravation, and turned so that I was facing her, "I was out with jean." I said softly and watched her eyes grow wide,
"With Jean? I thought it was Edward who you had the hots for."
I smiled and shook my head, "I don't really remember telling you that I had the hots for anyone. And I don't think I have the hots for Jean. He picked me up after work and I asked to see his pack land. Then there was trouble among some of his members and William's, so we had to deal with that before I finally came home."
"Trouble between Jean and William's pack and you stood in the middle. That must have been a lot."
"It felt like a lot at some point. But it really was a misunderstanding, and they sorted it out. Who knew that they shared a border."
"Who indeed?"
"So yeah. That's why I'm still asleep. I came back extremely tired. In addition to how tired I've been feeling lately."
She made a face and wrapped an arm around me, "I'm so sorry. I should have come sooner."
"It's okay." I said, patting her arm, "You have a life, and you shouldn't always have to put it on hold because of me ."
"You would do the same for me."
"in a heartbeat." I said and ran a hand over her hair with a sigh, "But you've already done so much for me." I said and she rose so she was looking at me,
"Let me do my job, will you?"
I simply smiled, "Okay."
"So tell me, do you feel something for him?"
"ah, my friend. The last thing I want to be doing is feeling anything for anybody, to be honest."
"I understand. But as your friend, I'm not going to allow you not to feel anything. Or worse yet, bury any of your feelings. The feeling may hurt right now, but I can promise you that feeling is good."
"I believe you. I felt a bunch of things when I was with Jean last night. The thing is, I simply don’t want to fall so quickly, or so hard again. Not right now, at least. Because what if I fall and I land with a hard thud? I'm barely recovering from Paris. Jean isn't Paris, he isn't always easy to read. If a man like that decides to break me, I'm not sure any amount of nature walks or heart sleep would heal me."
Ashley looked at me with some amusement, "is he that special?"
I smiled thinking about the room full of books and all the objects that showed him the stars, "he's quite special."
"I see," Ashley said, and laid her head on my shoulder, and sighed,
"I only want you to be happy, my friend," she said after some time, and I struggled to swallow past the lump in my throat. I only longed to be happy as well. But for so long, happiness had chosen to elude me, and I wasn't sure why.
"Maybe someday. "
"Maybe soon," she whispered, something like a prayer.
William came over later while Ashley slept, and he brought some papers with him.
“William,” I said with some honest excitement when I got to the living room, “boy, am I glad to see you.” I drawled and earned myself a chuckle when he hugged me.
“I'm glad to see you too.” he said happily and took his seat,
“How does it go?” I asked when I sat across from him
"Well, I came with business in mind, if you don't mind.”
“I don't at all. Let's hear it.”
“Well, this is the new document for the divorce. I made some changes. Not much, just a couple of clauses. Made them more solid, tried my best to exclude the loopholes and all of that."
"Thank you." I took the document from him, and laid it in my lap without opening it, "have you spoken to him lately?" I asked quietly, knowing fully well that I hadn't spoken to him since the night I saw him with Kate,
"I did, earlier in the week, tell him that we were pushing forward with the divorce."
"you did? And what did he say?"
"He was stubborn about it. But never you worry, little stubbornness has yet to stop me in this field."
I nodded slowly but said nothing.
"Hey, are you okay?"
I shook my head before I shrugged, "I don't want to speak to him. I've ignored his calls and his messages because I don't want to hear anything he has to say. I know they are all lies. But regardless of what I know. Regardless of knowing his words to be lies, he only has to push to a point, and my heart would soften toward him. I'm too scared of that happening again."
"Well, as they say, the first step to healing is acceptance. As long as you've accepted that you have a weakness, it will be the first step you need to take to let him go."
William's words echoed in my head long after his visit. "to let him go."
But that was the thing though. I wasn't sure I was ever going to find the strength and will to let Paris go.
