Chapter 79
1574words
"William didn't come in to say hello," Axel said sadly when I got to the porch where he was waiting for me. William had followed me in his car from work, even after I had urged him not to. I suppose that was his own way of proving that we were friends no matter what. And I appreciated it. But for some reason, his willingness to stay in my life, despite not being able to love him, made me fear that I was taking advantage of him. Although, he was probably going to say that I wasn't.
"he was somewhat tired. And what are all these attachment issues I am perceiving? Was he not here earlier?" I said and sat with him outside, suddenly too tired to go in,
"Yeah, well. It would have been nice if I had still had a word ort wo for me," he said and I shook my head a him,
"It seems to me that I might need to get you a significant other soon enough."
"and go through the trials of love? I'd rather not, to be honest. However, speaking of the trials of love, what is going on with yours?"
"you're saying, I'm experiencing the trials of love?"
"I'd much rather put it more lightly, but that's not too farfetched… is it?"
I eyed him, before looking away, then simply let out a deep sigh, "he isn't happy about me wanting to be Paris's Luna."
"well, that makes two of us," he said spitefully,
"Not this again, Axel. It wears me out, to butt heads with you again and again."
"It wears me out too, but guess what? I'll continue to butt heads with you If it means you are not ending up with Paris. Why? Because, you're my sister, and I love you, and the idea of you getting hurt again by that man makes me so troubled, that I can't even think past it anymore. "
"Axel…"
"Now, hear me out. I've thought about it, again and again. I've questioned myself and asked why. Why are you so hell-bent on being with him? What is the reason you won't let yourself start over with Jean or even William? Especially William. But lo and behold, I can't come up with a good answer. I don't know the damned reason why. But at this point, I'm a desperate man."
"You sound like you're in love."
"ew. But you are my sister, and I love you, and I'd hate looking at myself in the mirror knowing there's so much I could do to keep you from that man and not try to do it. So, I'm willing to even live with your anger, but I'm being very honest. That I won't stop until you've acknowledged that Alpha Paris is a scumbag and you're much better without him in your life.
I sighed, "I know Paris hasn't always been a great guy, but after experiencing Jean, I think I understand him a little bit. The mate bond is a very powerful thing. There were times that even after acknowledging all that I felt for Paris, I was still very interested in spending my time with Jean. The bond made it very easy to not think about Paris, I suppose."
"But even then, with all of the power that bond had on you, you were still able to reject Jean. You rejected Jean for Paris. Paris didn't do that for you. With all of the love he claims to have had for you, he never could do this unselfish act. Even now, has he even told you he is considering it?"
I paused and gave his words some thought. It was true though. Paris hadn't said anything about rejecting Kate, and I had never brought it up. When I had rejected Jean, I had done so without concern about whether he would do the same for me. But now that Axel had brought it up, It really was worth considering after all.
If the matter was brought before Paris, would he actually make the choice that I had made?
"the answer is no, isn't it?" I looked up at him with weary eyes,
"he wouldn't make the same choice you've made. It's easy to say he's here for you when you're going through a lot. But he is incapable of making the same sacrifice that you have."
"Axel, that's enough," I said weakly. I didn’t need him putting these things inside of my head,
"I need you to simply hear me out. Everything I do now, I do because I love you and you're one of the most important things to me."
"one of them?" I asked with a smile and he shrugged good-humoredly, "You're not the only one in this family after all."
"mm. I see." I said and thought for a moment, "You're right though, about him never bringing up rejecting his mate for me. But that has never really been what I want from him. I guess I've only ever learned to understand him, without a need for him to make such a change for him."
"but you did it for him."
"Only because I felt it was the best thing to do."
"for him. The best thing to do for him and a relationship with him. I may not be in a relationship, but I'm well aware of the fact that relationships are supposed to be two-way streets. You can't be the only one making such a huge and life-changing decision, and he, not doing a dime, but simply talking about being there for you. That's not enough."
"I see where you're coming from, but I'm afraid I can't be the one to make him make such a choice. He has to want it as well."
"he claims to want you, then he has to bloody want it."
"you're becoming aggressive again."
"Then so be it. I mean this, Ember. If he isn't rejecting Kate the way you rejected Jean, then he doesn't deserve you."
"Maybe I don't need him to reject Kate," I said in a small voice,
"What the hell are you saying ?"
"what if I believe he is capable of loving me without rejecting Kate?"
"on what grounds do you believe such a lie?"
"because he said so," I said firmly and he blinked in confusion,
"because he said so. Because that liar said so. Ember."
"Axel."
"he hasn't given me a reason to not trust him. Since the start of our project, he's only given me a reason to trust him, and so I do. I really do."
"I can prove you wrong," he said, more resolutely, and my brows drew together,
"What are you talking about?"
"a leopard never changes its spots, and I believe this werewolf alpha is incapable of changing his. I've been doing a bit of 'stalking' on your beloved Alpha. His mate hasn't been around, but she's back now. That's all she needs to have him entangled again."
My hurt must have shown on my face, because he reached for my hand, "I'm not trying to hurt you by giving you reason to believe that you aren't enough. I just need you to understand that, if he isn't doing all he can, to avoid anything that could keep you apart, then you should not even be daydreaming about him. I should be growing tired of being repetitive, but you're my sister, so I'll say it again and again. However, I also intend on showing you."
"How?" I asked quietly.
He let go of my hand and smiled impishly,
"I have a gathering in mind."
" a gathering?"
"a ball. A banquet. Call it what you might like, but I intend on inviting all of the Alphas."
"Will the jean be there?"
"do you want me to leave him out?" he asked kindly, but I quickly shook my head,
"That would be wrong on all accounts. In any case, we said we would try to be friends."
"then he will be the first to be invited. Now, my plan is simply to give Paris the room he requires to be himself."
"Excuse me?"
"As established, his trial period is still on. He still has quite some time on his hands to prove that he is scum. This banquet will be all of the time he needs."
"Axel, don’t do anything funny."
"I have no desire to do anything funny. Quite on the contrary, I am only going to be giving space for something funny to happen. I apologize in advance for anything that you might not like."
"Do you plan to hurt him?"
"I'm not really allowed to, now am I?"
"I'd rather you didn't."
"I respect you and it's the only reason I won't touch his pretty little head. But, he will act the glum, and I'll make sure you see it. Hopefully, you'll finally let the son of a gun go."
"If you're right, and he actually acts the glum, what do I do?" I sounded a little hopeless to my own ears, but I couldn't help it.
My brother took my hands again and looked at me straight in the eyes,
"Then you get those divorce papers you have lying at the bottom of your last drawer, and you make sure you do not rest until you are completely and finally free of that son of that son of a gun."
