Chapter 231
1553words
Albert’s stare at me deepened. “I love you so much,” he whispered, raising his hand to hold my hand that was resting on his cheek.
Gently, he pulled my hand and guided it toward his torso, making me subconsciously lean toward him as we engulfed each other in an embrace.
“I’m sorry again.” His voice suddenly turned husky, and his lips started lingering feathery kisses on the side of my neck, hands, and arms, groping around my waist and sides.
I took a deep breath, jolted by the tingling sensation cursing through my body.
“I-it’s okay…” I stammered in reply, stopping the moan from escaping my lips when his hands touched the side of my breast, and he sucked on the part where my neck and shoulder joined.
“May I?” he seductively asked while pulling me even closer as if our bodies weren’t close enough.
I looked into his eyes and found how it got deeper and darker. His gentle movements and desire to get closer obviously indicated that he wanted to taste me… to make me his.
“Della… Come on, agree with him! I want it too, please!” Trisha shouted at me.
My breathing became deep as I tried to control myself.
“What are you doing? Why are you trying to suppress your desire? You know you want it, too! Wasn’t three years enough to forget about that scumbag?” Trisha scolded again, getting impatient.
“It’s not that… It’s just…” I wasn’t sure either.
Trisha became silent for a while before saying in a sad tone, “What you’ve been doing is so unfair to Albert. Imagine, he always had to suppress his own desire whenever he faced his fated mate. That’s just cruel!”
“Or have you forgotten already that he’s your mate?” she added.
I slightly trembled, guilt burning in every inch of me.
Trisha’s right. It’s unfair to Albert. All of it was. But what could I do? It just felt like… I wasn’t still ready yet. But Albert… he deserved more.
I internally gasped as a wild idea came into my mind. What if… What if I imagine Albert as Kylian? Would I be able to be that intimate with him?
It’s an unrealistic and cruel idea, yes, but…
My breathing became uneven. It’s the first time I thought of something like this. It’s one of those many emotions and thoughts I had hidden in the past but slowly crept out of that small crack in my soul.
I blinked my eyes a couple of times before the gap between my body’s desire and my soul’s desire intertwined for a while, letting me envision Albert as Kylian.
Pulling away a bit from his embrace, I took a deep breath until Albert’s face changed into Kylian’s.
My hands slowly slid into his chest and onto his nape. Looking deeply into his eyes, I pulled him by the nape and kissed him.
I could feel him freezing a bit, shocked by my initiation.
But that didn’t last long.
After a second, he got out of his daze and pulled me closer to him until I landed on his lap. My legs were open, straddling on either side of him, with me facing him.
Our breathing became heavy as we nibbled each other’s lips, seeking dominance.
Albert wrapped one of his arms around my waist, pulling it hard and making it pressed harder into him so that I could feel the bulge of his desire under me while his other hand was squeezing my legs.
He stood up and carried me to the bed, gently laying me on the mattress. Our lips separated as he slowly crawled above me. He used his arms to support his weight and avoid squeezing me.
He gently raised his hand and caressed my face before it slid to my side. Leaning down, he kissed my jaws, neck, and collarbone, sweetly taking his time and letting me feel his gentle touch.
Gentle touch… that’s very far from how Kylian would make love to me.
My vision of him started to shake, changing from Kylian’s face to his original one every now and then.
He removed his shirt, letting me see his muscular chest and manly features. Sweetly, he helped me remove my clothes, but unlike Kylian, who would rush to take them off or resort to tearing them off, Albert took his time and slowly helped me as if he was taking treasure from every second.
The mask I put on to fool myself into thinking he was Kylian was slowly fading because of how different he was. He’s far too gentle than how Kylian makes love with me.
While sending me kisses, he slowly slid his hands down to my core, making me gasp with his gentle strokes.
I thought I could force myself, that I could give Albert what he wanted by doing this. But it's just too different, and… I just… can’t do it…
Just before he got into me, I suddenly woke up from my own illusional mask. I saw his face and immediately avoided the kiss he was about to land on my lips.
Gasping, I pulled the blanket and looked away from him so I wouldn’t see the vivid pain in his eyes.
“I’m sorry. I… I’m just… I’m tired, but I’m feeling well. Oh, and also, we still have things to do and prepare because…” I kept rumbling things that even I didn’t know what I was saying anymore.
My heart was pumping so fast. I scolded myself and wanted to slap my face with how stupid I was being.
Sighing, I gave on my stupid excuses and looked into Albert’s eyes, guilty. “I’m so sorry,” I said as I caressed his cheek.
My heart clenched in pain when I saw a glint of disappointment and pain flash in his eyes before he forced a smile.
“It’s okay, you’re right. We still have a lot to prepare for the party. We need rest,” he said, pretending to be okay.
He got off me and tucked me under the blanket properly before giving me a kiss on the forehead. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. It’s okay.”
Hearing him consoling me when he was the one who had been hurt made me feel even more guilty.
Della! How could you hurt a gentle and perfect mate like him?
If only I could dictate myself, I would have done it long ago.
With a forced smile, he joked after glancing at his hard-on. “I’ll just take care of it.”
After saying that, he turned around and went into the bathroom. Not seconds later, I heard the sound of streaming water inside and his panting inside.
My face reddened, and I felt a bit uncomfortable about it. It’s been three years, but I’m still uncomfortable about such things concerning Albert…
I stared at the closed bathroom door and felt sorry for Albert. I slapped my face and cursed myself silently.
I didn’t know why as well. But even after how much Kylian hurt me before, I just couldn’t forget him. And the harder I try, the harder I fail.
It’s frustrating how hard it was when my fated mate, whom everyone would wish to have, was just right next to me.
Fuck you, Kylian!
I cursed him in my mind because I couldn’t forget him completely, and it's causing a reap between my relationship with Albert, and I know that it's hurting him a lot more than he show me.
I’m hurting the man who deeply loves me, and it annoyed me that the reason why I couldn’t properly treat him well was because of a scumbag who wasn’t worthy of me.
Wrapped in the blanket, I held it tightly around me as I sat and leaned my back on the headboard.
Knees up and arms around my legs, I bowed my head as tears started streaming down my face. I wanted to cry out loud, but I suppressed my gasp, afraid Albert would hear my cries.
“You know what?” Trisha asked. I could feel her a bit angry at me, but she was calming herself down. “I wanted to blame and scold you so bad, but I can feel your guilt and pain as well.”
“I’m sorry, Trish…” I whispered.
Sighing, she replied in a calm tone, “It’s not your fault, okay? It’s that asshole’s fault!”
“Agh!” she shouted. “Whenever I think of him, my blood boils! Imagine, he even let that Flora stay in the Dark Moon Pack? It’s obvious he never felt guilty, nor did he regret what had happened before! He’s nothing but a liar!”
My cries deepened from what I heard from her. Finally, she let out another sigh and comforted me, “Don’t torture yourself, Della. Especially not because of that worthless man.”
“Come on, let’s get some fresh air. We haven’t had a good walk around the manor yet,” she reminded me, trying to cheer me up.
Thinking that’s a good idea, I changed my clothes and did as she suggested. I wiped my tears dry and momentarily glanced at the lighted bathroom.
It’s better this way, too, so Albert won’t see me crying. Dressed in a nightgown, I turned the doorknob and went out, letting the night breeze touch my skin and calm my aching soul.
