Chapter 73
1134words
The mansion has a surplus of rooms that are decorated but unused. Lately, the whole place feels like a ghost house. Things moving, being rearranged, but no people actually seen. I haven't spoken to any guards or much of the staff since being back. It's like they're avoiding me.
Or maybe I'm subconsciously avoiding them ... I haven't been the most approachable person. My mind is fixated on my mother, my baby, and nothing else. I'd avoid me too, I think.
Adriana glances around, then locks the door. We're alone, but her voice is a whisper.
'Okay." She pats the small, double-seated brown leather couch, sitting once I do. 'What's so important that you pulled me away?"
Preparing myself to rattle off a hundred things, I'm surprised when I can't manage a single word. There's too much to discuss, and it's all tangling up on my tongue now that the chance to speak is finally here. Breathing out a few times, I try to calm myself.
'It's funny. I don't even know where to start now," I say, laughing weakly. 'So much has happened."
'Why don't we start with you getting taken from the safe house," she urges. There's more than interest in her face.
From the way her brow is puckered, I know she's feeling guilty.
I put my hand on her knee and shake my head. 'It's not your fault that I was taken. It's like Asher said—Yannick had a mole in Jonah's office. One way or the other, he was going to take me and Mom."
She chews her lower lip. 'Your mom, is she …"
'Still with him, yeah." My shoulders sink. 'He's been hurting her. It's awful." Making fists, I bite back frustrated tears. 'Waiting around to save her is killing me."
'Is that what you wanted to talk about?" she asks. 'About how we can save your mom?"
I want to say yes. But that's a lie. I check her eyes, trying to read her. That's when I realize she's trying to read me. She knows I'm holding something back.
And I know exactly what that something is.
Pyotr Grachev.
Even though she's my best friend, I can't forget that Jonah tried to use me to advance his own career.
'No, that's not it." I shake my head again. 'It's something else. But I don't know if I can tell you. I don't know if I can tell anyone."
Adriana shoots a glance at the door. 'Does Asher bug his own home?"
I shrug. 'He has cameras all over the place. His men are probably watching us right now."
'I see." Adriana nods. 'Is this something that you don't want him to know about?"
'No," I sigh, flooded with fresh shame. 'I'm pretty damn sure this is something he already knows about."
Taking my hand in hers, she makes me look at her as she smiles serenely. 'Nothing you tell me will leave this room. But you don't have to say anything if you don't want to."
The tears I've been holding back start to well up in my eyes. Releasing her hand, I wipe them away. 'No, I want to talk about it." I need to talk about it. 'But it's just …"
Adriana bends closer, her voice a low hush. 'It's bad."
'Yeah."
'And Asher knows?"
My whole body flinches at the sound of his name, as if merely mentioning it might summon him into the room. 'He does."
Leaning away, she stands up and dusts her pants off. 'You don't have to say anything if you're not ready, Camila."
I balk, eyeing her in disbelief. 'What?"
'The only thing you need to say is if you're in danger." Running her hands through her hair, she locks her eyes with mine. 'Because if you are, I'm going to help."
This act of kindness is why we're friends. Who else could pry so close to a juicy secret, then walk away before the lid is cracked to see inside? It's not the first time she's taken my cue and resisted pushing me. When Simon first started hurting me, I couldn't tell anyone.
I was too ashamed and convinced that it would get better.
Adriana saw my bruises and the signs of abuse. When she confronted me, I clammed up. Someone else would have pushed, shutting me down further. But she allowed me to come to her at my own pace. When I did, she was there for me with hugs, soothing words, and a couch to crash on until I got my life back together.
And right now, under her soft, reassuring gaze, I feel courage slowly perk up inside of me. Just enough for a single name to slip forth from my lips.
'Pyotr."
'Who?" She arches her eyebrows in confusion.
'Pyotr Grachev." I grab her hands and lower my voice in an urgent hiss. 'I need you to help me find out if he's real. If he existed. And if so … what happened to him."
She opens her mouth to ask for more details. But I put my fingers to my lips for emphasis. The message is received, and she nods quickly.
'Okay." She's talking quieter than before. 'I'll do what I can."
'Thank you. I mean it."
Patting my arm, she eyeballs the door, sticking out her bottom lip. 'We should go back and check on them. Before your husband kills mine."
I laugh, but it rings hollow. I'm too consumed with the possibility of finding out who has been telling me the truth—my monster of a father or my monster of a husband. Once I know, it will remove the burden of the secret I'm carrying.
I'll know for sure if Asher killed a child in cold blood. And then I can be at peace about this.
But as I reach for the doorknob, another thought enters my mind.
No, I can't.
The truth won't remove my burden. Because there's always the possibility that Asher did murder Pyotr. That's what I'm afraid of. Because that will be proof Asher is exactly the monster I should fear. More importantly, it'll be proof that he's every bit the monster Yannick told me he is. And if that's the case, everything I want from Asher will crumble to dust.
'Camila?" Adriana asks warily. 'What's wrong?"
'Nothing." Blinking quickly, I put on my cheeriest smile. 'Just felt a bit lightheaded from the heat."
She looks at me with wariness in her eyes. I know she doesn't believe me, but she knows better than to keep pushing me for an answer I'll never give.
She knows when it's time to let things rest.
But more importantly, she knows when it's time to push.
She's always known.
I wish I could say the same about myself nowadays.
