Chapter 24
1840words
Vodka does wonders to calm the soul. Unfortunately, halfway through my glass of it, my soul is as erratic as ever. Swirling the clear liquid creates flickers of light on the hard planes of the crystal. All at once I tighten my wrist, freezing my arm, but the vodka continues to dance.
It moves the way the performers did tonight. Swaying, rocking, undulating across the stage. But I barely recall the show. My mind is somewhere else.
When I take a drink of the alcohol, all I taste is her.
Camila.
She didn't just let me nurse on her pretty little pussy; she actively encouraged me. Her desire drove my own. Then, later, she returned the favor in the car.
Shutting my eyes, I exhale shakily. The memory of her soft lips wrapped around my cock gets me drunker than the vodka. My soul is trembling. I can't dampen the energy in it, not after what she did to me.
The walls around my heart that I spent years strengthening are starting to crack. Camila isn't just knocking them down; she's burrowing through from the base, attacking me from the shadows before I see her coming.
At this rate … I'll be in too deep to walk away.
Layla warned me that I hold her heart in my hands. I clutch my glass of vodka tighter. My heart is at risk too.
A scream pierces the silent evening air. It rockets into my study, echoing off the walls. Camila! Throwing my glass down, ignoring how it cracks and spills all over the rug, I dart out of the room. The scream comes again—an awful noise that rises and falls like a dying animal.
Pounding down the stairs, I stumble, slamming my shoulder into the wall as I sprint onto the landing too fast. There's pain, but I ignore it. Camila's desperate yelling drives me onward until I rip her bedroom door open, breath exploding from my lungs. I search for evidence of an intruder who somehow got past my soldiers. Whoever hurt her, I'll fucking kill them!
The light from the hallway behind me illuminates every corner. There's no one here but her. 'Camila!" I cry, hurrying to stand over her. She thrashes under her blankets, revealing her lavender satin nightie the more she rolls around. There's sweat on her brow, her pink lips pulled back in a pained frown. Gently, I shake her naked shoulders.
'Camila, wake up! You're having a nightmare."
With a choking gasp, she sits straight up. Her pupils are tiny balloons floating in a vast sky; they bounce around, finally noticing me beside her. Without a word, she throws her arms around my neck, trembling as she clings to me for safety. 'Oh God, Asher. Thank God. Thank God."
She repeats herself for a moment longer. Her entire body is damp, and her clothing clings to her. I wipe the strands of hair sticking to her forehead behind her ear. 'You're safe, Camila. Everything is fine now."
Shaking harder, she hugs me with her head under my chin. I haven't held anyone like this in years. Camila seems frail in my arms, like a strong breeze could carry her away. Her breathing comes in and out rapidly. Finally, with a shudder, she calms herself. 'Don't tell me I was making enough noise to wake you."
'I was already awake." Tipping her chin, I make her look at me. 'What was your nightmare about?"
Somehow, she goes even more pale. 'Oh. Um."
'You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
'No, no. It's okay. Let me just gather myself." She smooths her hair, bringing it over her shoulder, where she winds the thick pieces around her fingers. 'It's been a while since I had a nightmare … about him."
'Him?" I ask warily.
Camila shrinks against my chest, seeking comfort. I wrap the blanket about her like I'm crafting a cocoon. This comforts her enough to prompt her to keep talking.
'A while back, I was dating this guy named Simon."
I didn't know about this. I'm flooded with a simmering fury. Not because I wasn't aware, but because the idea that Camila might date someone, even before I knew her, cuts at my jealous side.
'If you had a bad dream about him, he couldn't have been a great boyfriend."
'He wasn't." She slumps further in my lap. 'During the last year we were together, he became abusive. It got so awful, but I kept putting up with it. I thought, I guess, that he'd see the light and change. Well … he didn't. One night, things escalated so much. Simon lost it." She glances up, meeting my eyes with her own tear-filled ones. 'He shoved me down the stairs."
The growl that exits my clenched teeth sounds like the earth splitting in two. It's awful enough that Camila's sadness morphs into fear. Gripping her shoulders, my body wrapping around hers to protect her from any attack, past or present, I speak in a harsh tone. 'Where is he now?"
'What? Why?"
'So I can kill him."
'Asher, no!" Camila pushes against my chest, creating space between us. 'You can't just kill him! That's crazy!"
'He hurt you, Camila. I can't pretend to be okay with that!"
'You'll end up in prison!"
'No, I won't," I laugh darkly. 'I know how to get it done without anyone knowing."
'Asher, no!" Her eyes widen as her chin wobbles. 'He's harmless now."
'How do you know that?"
'Because …" She bites down on the corner of her lip guiltily. 'Because he's been stalking me for months. But he never gets close."
'I'm going to kill him."
'Asher? Asher! No!" She fights me as I set her on the bed, rising to my full height. 'He's had opportunities to hurt me and he hasn't! Okay? He's a creep, but he isn't going to try anything. Especially not now. How would he, with these walls and your soldiers between us?"
I'll have Mila find out where he is. Then she can eliminate him from the shadows. Or bring him to me so that I might teach him some manners before I end his pathetic life.
Camila blocks me, her arms held to the sides. 'Please, don't do this. I'm begging you."
'Why?" I demand, looming over her. 'How can you not want to see him cold in the ground?"
'Because pain doesn't erase pain!"
I recoil like she slapped me. Camila stands tall and proud, her chin pushed out, her eyes narrowed as she dares me to push her aside. She'll fight me tooth and nail if I try to walk past her. But she doesn't have to. Her words alone have weakened me.
'If this is what you want, then I won't touch him."
She deflates with relief. 'Thank you."
'But I'm going to increase security at your studio."
'Why there?" Her mood lifts. 'Are you planning to let me return?"
Hesitating at her question, I keep my voice calm. 'Eventually. But for now, it's a precaution. He may try something crazy, even if you aren't there. The guards will be made aware to keep an eye out not just for Yannick but for anything suspicious. If he goes near there, I'll know."
She manages a small smile. It makes her look more tired, the bags under her eyes looking like slices of plums. 'I can agree with that."
Taking her hands, I tug her toward her bed. 'Rest now. You need to sleep."
'Hopefully I won't have any more nightmares."
I tuck the blanket around her body. 'If you do, I'll be here to wake you up."
Every time.
That night, I sit outside her door on the floor, waiting just in case she cries out again.
The sun rises without Camila making a whimper.
A member of my staff wanders down the hall. The young woman—Varya, I think, and I feel bad for not being sure—locks her knees in the middle of dusting a nearby vase. She didn't expect to see me on the floor, certainly not at this hour. 'Sir," she stammers, 'are you all right?"
Grimly, I lift one leg, then the next, groaning as I stand. My body is stiff, but I don't care. So long as Camila can sleep through the night, I'm content.
'I'm fine," I assure her. Casting a look at Camila's door, I lower my voice. 'Don't wake her. Keep everyone away; she needs to sleep as long as possible."
'What about you, sir?"
Yawning, I scratch my messy hair. 'I suppose the same goes for me. Unless the house is on fire, or Yannick himself comes knocking, do not let anyone wake me up."
She nods rapidly, making space for me to pass. She watches me with wary eyes until she can't see me anymore. I told her I was going to my room, but that was a lie. I head directly out the front door into the cool morning air. There's only one guard keeping post. He dips his head to me in deference as I pass.
It's a struggle to acknowledge him in return. I do it because I respect my boeviki. Even if I'm dead on my feet, they deserve to know I see them. My heavy legs bring me to the garden. Through the thick hedges, I weave until I come to the fountain.
This was Kristina's favorite spot, I think, settling on the stone rim. Spacing my feet apart, I rest my arms on my thighs. The fresh air is clearing the cobwebs from my head. I'll have to sleep soon, or I won't be any good to anybody.
But not yet.
I need a moment here, among the roses and the rising sun, to gather my thoughts.
I told her about you. Craning my neck, I study the pale flowers. I wonder if that was right. If I'd kept you from Camila ... Would it have been smarter?
Yes, I expected her to learn about my late wife eventually, but I started ripping off the locks on every secret I'd trapped away.
I didn't have to be so honest.
Because of my choices, the things that are unraveling between Camila and myself aren't stopping. Each time I think I see the end of the string, a new spool reveals itself. I've never seen the end of my own threads. Will I be laid totally bare at this rate?
She's revealing everything too. The memory of last night has my skull throbbing. Her ex pushed her down the fucking stairs. My fingers curl into tight fists. She begged me not to hurt him. I won't, for her. Until I'm given a reason to.
I hope for Simon's sake that Camila is right about him.
Because the second I get wind that he's prowling around, trying to get a mere sniff of her, I'll find out.
And when I do, nothing Camila says will keep him safe from my wrath.
