Chapter 79
2201words
Neither of them could wait, desperation fuelling their movements as Sebastian pushed her legs apart and settled between them. Just before he thrust, with Aneesa's hands on his hips, her legs drawn back, he said with a guttural moan that seemed to be pulled out of him, ‘I need this … I need you.'
An ache lodged in her throat and emotion surged as he thrust deep inside her. And then they were caught up in the familiar dance, which took them higher and higher until every sinew was pulled taut, and when an explosion of intense pleasure gripped her and went on and on, Aneesa wondered how she'd ever be able to cope knowing she'd never have this again.
Long languorous minutes later, sated and lethargic,
Aneesa was tucked spoon-like into Sebastian's chest. She could feel him harden again against her bottom and moved sinuously. No matter how tired she might be, she wasn't ready for it to be over yet. Reaching behind to caress his buttocks, she heard a throaty dark chuckle. And then he moved her hair over her shoulder so he could press hot kisses onto the back of her neck.
With a powerful move of his hips, he found where she still ached for him an
d thrust up, his arms a tight bind around her, one hand on her breast. Her head fell back, and as he thrust again and again until she couldn't breathe or think, he kissed her so sweetly that she couldn't stop the tears falling.
When the storm was over, Aneesa was replete and exhausted. Awash with emotion. She took his hand from where
it was wrapped around her, entwined in hers, and pressed a kiss to it. And just before she let exhaustion take her away, she thought of the words that had been trembling on her lips for days now. ‘I love you.'
Sebastian stilled. Had she just said—His mind blanked.
Her breaths were already deep and even. Perhaps he'd imagined it? He couldn't process the information straight away, not when he couldn't think because his brain was mush after two of the most powerful orgasms he could ever remember having.
One hand rested on Aneesa's rounded belly and just as his head was beginning to whirl at the implication of her words, if she'd even said them, he felt the tiniest most subtle of sensations against his fingers. A mere flutter, like a small heartbeat. Holding his breath, he spread his hand out and it came again, against the palm of his hand this time. Tiny, barely noticeable. But there. His baby.
He lay awake like that for a long time. Until the rising sun started to streak the sky outside with the most delicate pink trails.
And then he quietly slipped out of the bed and left.
ANEESA woke the next morning, her body feeling deliciously weighted down in the bed. She smiled and stretched and it was only then that she realised that she was naked and the previous night came back to her. Her eyes flew open.
She was alone in the bed and from the feel of where Sebastian would have lain, it was cold and had been for some time. They'd made love, and he'd left. A wrenching pain made Aneesa gasp and pull her legs up so that she curled in a foetal position. This was it. He was gone.
For a couple of minutes she felt so cold that she wondered if she might be sick. Which was crazy when it would be nearly thirty degrees outside.
Only when she was afraid her mother would come to see where she was did she get out of bed. But when she approached the kitchen and dining area she nearly stumbled. Amrita was exclaiming petulantly, ‘I can't believe he would go without saying goodbye to me!'
Aneesa had to sit on the bottom step of the stairs. Her skin had gone clammy. Until that moment she hadn't known for sure that he had gone. She heard her mother's placating voice and heard footsteps.
‘Aneesa, are you OK?'
It was Akash. She smiled and stood, feeling her blood rush southwards, and suddenly everything was swirling and blackness enfolded her.
She woke to a sea of concerned faces and struggled to sit up, finding that she was on the couch in the sitting room.
She was pushed back down firmly.
‘You, young lady, are not moving. The doctor is on his
way.'
She protested but was drowned out. She wanted to cry
out that she'd just fainted—she didn't need anyone or anything. Just Sebastian and his undying love. That ridiculously futile
thought made her smile slightly and her mother smiled too, with relief, obviously misinterpreting it.
She fussed around Aneesa. ‘You need to be careful, Neesa, you're taking after me. I fainted all the time when I was pregnant….'
The rest of the family slipped away and Aneesa asked her mother casually, ‘Did you see Sebastian before he left today?'
Her mother shook her head and then said, ‘I think he left something for you—a note. Let me get it.'
In the space of time it took for her mother to come back, Aneesa was nearly climbing the walls. She all but grabbed the note and when her mother wasn't moving she said, ‘I think I need to rest for a bit … I'll be fine.'
With a kiss to her forehead, making her feel as if she was a teenager all over again, her mother left. Taking a deep breath, Aneesa opened the note and read the confident scrawl: Can you meet me at my suite this evening—7:00 p.m.?
Sebastian.
Aneesa crumpled the note into her fist. She refused to acknowledge the treacherous flutters in her belly. It would only be because he wanted to sort out arrangements for coming back to see the baby or something like that.
The doctor came soon afterwards and declared that everything was fine and that Aneesa just needed to eat. So she was waited upon and force-fed for the entire day by her well- meaning family. But nothing could stop the sensation of cold sneaking into her bloodstream as if some life force was being cut off.
That evening, like an automaton, she got dressed to go to the hotel in a long stretchy black jersey dress. For the first time she'd noticed that she couldn't get into her jeans anymore. She put makeup on her eyes purely to disguise the shadows underneath and to feel like she had some armour on. Slipping into flat sandals and draping a long shawl around her shoulders that she could pull over her head and belly to disguise herself, sari-style, she left the house for the hotel.
Despite her disguise, the minute she walked into the foyer of the luxurious hotel, a man stepped forward and said obsequiously, ‘Miss Adani?'
She nodded. And he gestured with a hand. ‘Please, allow me to show you to Mr Wolfe's suite.'
Of course, she realised a little hysterically. It wasn't as if she'd ever gone to or come from his suite by the conventional route the first time around.
They ascended in a lift marked Private and came to a smooth halt all too soon. Aneesa's palms felt sweaty and her heart was beating unevenly. She prayed she wouldn't faint again.
The concierge, or manager, ushered her out and opened
the door to the suite. ‘Have a good evening, Miss Adani.'
And then the door was shut behind her. Aneesa let the shawl drop from her head to her shoulders. Déjà vu washed over her with bittersweet nostalgia. The suite was much the same as it had been that night. It appeared to be empty, only one or two lamps throwing out little halos of golden light.
She could see though that there were lights coming from the terrace, and the sliding doors were open, sending the evening breeze drifting through. The evening was a dusky opalescent colour outside and Aneesa could see the ubiquitous Indian kites floating against the darkening sky as people practiced off their rooftops.
A sudden feeling of anger gripped her. Why wasn't Sebastian meeting her downstairs in more anonymous surroundings, under brighter lights? She hated him for bringing her back into this seductive world. And where was he anyway? Aneesa suddenly needed air, needed to breathe before she saw Sebastian and faced the final demise of their relationship as lovers, before it became about the logistics of parenting from their respective countries and homes.
She made for the terrace and assumed he was in the office room, perhaps catching up on a call. She walked straight outside and went to the ornately carved stone wall. Gripping it, she took a deep breath, much as she had that night all those
weeks before.
And, exactly like that night, a voice from behind her drawled seductively, ‘Please don't tell me you're thinking of jumping.'
Aneesa's heart stopped, and started again with an uneven beat. This time she didn't whirl around in shock and surprise. She stayed where she was for a long moment, and then steeled herself before turning to face Sebastian, and when she did she nearly fell down all over again. He was devastatingly handsome, even dressed in just a white shirt and dark trousers. But it was as if she was seeing him for the first time.
She smiled bitterly in reaction. ‘I had no intention of jumping that night, and I certainly have no intention of jumping now. No man is worth that.'
He strolled towards her then with hands in his pockets, making her want to take in his lean hips. She fought the urge to look.
‘But what you're implying with that statement is that
you've weighed up the possibility and found it lacking …' Aneesa snorted and felt a little bewildered. Why was
Sebastian being so … seductive? Why wasn't he being all businesslike? Something caught her eye behind him … and why was there a table for two set for dinner complete with a softly flickering candle and an ice bucket with champagne?
Pain gripped her so hard she saw stars. She garbled out, ‘Oh, God … I'm sorry. You have a date. You were out here preparing and I came out …'
She went to walk back inside but suddenly Sebastian was there, gripping her arm. Her shawl fell to the ground.
‘No, no one else is coming here, Aneesa, it's just you and me.'
‘But …' Her voice wouldn't work. She swallowed. ‘Why? Like this? I thought you just wanted to discuss arrangements.'
He dropped her arm from his grip and for the first time she saw a crack in his composure. He ran a hand through his hair. ‘I guess I do … in a way.'
Aneesa felt seriously overwhelmed and was afraid that, much like last night, she'd end up doing or saying something to give herself away spectacularly.
Sebastian looked at her so intensely though that she couldn't think straight.
‘Do you remember after we made love last night … do you remember saying anything?'
Aneesa forced her sluggish brain to work. What on earth could he be—? She froze. Every part of her body froze. She remembered now, in chilling detail. She'd whispered the fateful words. She'd thought she'd just said them in her head. But she'd said them out loud. No wonder he'd left so fast this morning.
She tried to back away but couldn't because the wall was behind her. She alternately shook and nodded her head, her brain imploding. ‘I … I'm not sure what you mean …'
Sebastian was grim. ‘You said you loved me.'
Any hope of retaining dignity fled in an instant. Aneesa gulped. ‘Well … I may have … I mean, I don't remember but perhaps afterwards … but it didn't mean anything.'
A muscle in his jaw twitched. ‘So it was just a helpless transitory emotional response to a physical act? Is that what you're saying?'
Aneesa gulped again. Sebastian looked so formidable.
And then she seemed to regain some sanity, or at least equilibrium. ‘Why, Sebastian? Why do you even care what I might have said? You've made it very clear all along that nothing would come of this relationship except two adults having a baby. From the moment I arrived in England you fought my presence.
‘So what on earth does it matter to you what I might have said, or what I might feel? You're leaving tomorrow.'
‘Am I?' He laughed but it sounded pained. ‘To be honest, I don't know if I'm coming or going and I've been feeling like that for a long time now….'
He brushed past her then to rest his hands on the stone balustrade, and dropped his head between his shoulders.
