Chapter 21: I don't do cuddles
1010words
Hell, whom am I kidding? Look at him! I'd be crazy to think a man like him was a one woman kind of man.
Pulling my robe tighter around myself, I went to see the deck, looking out at the quiet, dark ocean that expanded for miles on end. The moonlight cast a perfect reflection in the calm waters, making me think about the night I ran from Jason. That was the darkest night of my life and I never wanted to relive it. I came to Florida hoping to start a new life, and here I was getting wrapped in another man and letting my emotions take over. My promises to myself were shot to shit now and I was the only one to blame for it. How could I have let this happen?!
"Hey.
I jumped at the sound of Drake's voice behind me as I whipped around and faced him, pressing my back into the railing.
"Hi," I whispered out, feeling the tears fill behind my eyes and cursing myself for allowing them to surface. Seeing him after what I had just witnessed was wreaking havoc on my emotional state right now.
"Couldn't sleep either?" He asked, slowly making his way toward me but he was careful not to get too close.
"Something like that," I lied, turning back to the ocean behind me as I wrapped my arms around myself and stared straight ahead. "I was coming to see you," I breathed out, not at all sure why I had revealed that.
I heard him inhale a deep breath before he cursed under his breath. "Fuck. Lynn, before you go thinking."
Turning to him, I shook my head. "I don't need an explanation, Drake. We're not together like that. If you want to sleep with other women, I have no right to speak my feelings on the subject; just as you don't if I decide to be with another guy." It was hard getting that out but it was the brutal truth. Neither of us owed the other an explanation for our actions.
The look he gave me was confusing. He looked hurt by my words and I didn't know why.
"Lynn," he began, stepping a bit closer to me until our hands touched on the railing, "I didn't sleep with Chrissy. I know you said I don't owe you an explanation but I call it bullshit. You should know I'm not that big of an asshole."
Turning, I stared into his piercing blue eyes. "Thank you for telling me." Inhaling a deep breath, i looked back out at the ocean and thought about his words and how I actually believed him.
"To be fair, I thought it was you sneaking in. Hell. I prayed it was." He laughed out before the silence stretched between us. I felt an excited bubble in my chest at his words but I continued to stay quiet. "Lynn, what is this?"
Confused by his question, I turned to look up at him. "What do you mean?" I furrowed my brow as I studied his expression. He looked a bit stressed.
"This," he stated, pointing between the two of us.
I let out a dry laugh, trying not to panic. He was asking a very serious question to which I didn't have an answer. Again, I came to Florida to start over, and here I was, right back where I began all those years ago. It was then that I knew what I needed to tell him.
"Drake, this is just fun. It's been a very long time since I've been able to just let go with a man. I'm not looking for anything serious." I stared into his eyes then. "Not that it's you, but it's...."
"You?" He smirked, shaking his head. "Way to be original, but I get it. Don't worry about me. I want to keep having fun with you Lynn, but I didn't want to see if you were getting attached to this...." He ran his hand down his body in a mocking manner, a huge grin spreading across his face.
"Oh my God!" I laughed, shoving him lightly in the chest. "Cocky, much?"
When he held his hand out to me, I froze. I wasn't in the mood to be led back to his bedroom to do those fun things we were just discussing. I needed some time to wrap my head around what I really wanted and getting beneath Drake right now wasn't healthy for my mental health.
"Don't worry, I'm just taking you over there." He nodded toward the large lush couches behind us. Placing my hand in his, he guided me over.
We sat down and when I started to get comfortable a few feet away away from him, he decided that wasn't good for him. He grabbed me and pulled me into his arms and between his legs.
As my back rested against his chest, I could feel his heart pounding, causing me to smile. Was he nervous around me? He wrapped his hands around me , resting his chin on the top of my head as we sat there in a complete silence, staring off into the dark ocean.
"Did you know that I've never cuddled like this before?"
His question surprised me. "No? I mean, I gathered that most assholes don't do the whole cuddling thing so I get it."
He scoffed before he began to tickle my sides. "Is that so? You still think I'm an asshole?"
I cried out, hating to be tickled. "Drake!" No!
He continued to lightly tickle me, burying his face into the crook of my neck. "Say you're sorry," he teased.
