Xavier's pov
Nothing, there was just nothing.
Where my heart used to beat so violently, now just hollow. She was gone, there was no fixing it now, she was gone forever.
“Explain yourself!” My father's voice came screaming but I could barely hear it.
“She was your mate, wasn't she?” Mom asked, awakening the ache I'd now grown so used to.
I couldn't find my words, all I could do was feel this emptiness that had taken over my entire being.
How could I have been so stupid? She was perfect for me in every way! She was mine.
“Did you reject her before or after you found out she was a powerful elf?” My father asked, his annoyance too obvious.
But did it matter? Wether she was an elf or a wolf-less omega? Why did I care before?
Why did they have to treat her like trash? They made me hate her, I know deep down I've always wanted her.
“I should have seen it, you were acting strange. That's what you were doing snooping around the kitchen yesterday isn it?” Mom asked but I still couldn't find my words.
“Say something!!” My father growled, exerting his Alpha aura into the command and I shivered at the weight of his anger.
“Yes, she was mine” the words came out a whisper, the hollow space in my chest aching as I admitted to my own ears what had been running through my mind.
I messed up, and it was too late to fix!
Asher had been awfully quiet, I could barely feel his presence and I so wished there was a place I could disappear to as well.
“It's done, it's over. You have Lilly, you chose Lilly and you're going to mate with her and forgot all about Alari” mom said with a sigh like she'd figured it out but her words felt like an insult.
How I could I forget her? She was my mate! She was mine. I had to figure out a way to fix things with her.
“Did you hear what your mother said?!” My father growled and I snapped my gaze up to meet his angry one.
My father only grew angrier, probably seeing the defiance on my face. I had no intention of letting her go without a fight! The King would rip me to shreds but what was the point of living if I couldn't do it with her?
“Don't you fucking dare go against the King or even try to get her back!” My father commanded, and even though he was still my Alpha, I had no intention of losing her without a fight.
“Get yourself together, we have to get through lunch without a hitch” mom said running her hands over her dress.
I got up and left the office, trying to figure out a way to show Alari that I loved her, that I'd do right by her, that I could be the man she deserved.
Lilly found me before I could go looking and I stopped, looking at the hurt and confused look on her face.
“Is she your mate?” She asked in a small voice and I could only nod.
“So what does that mean for us?” She asked, the hurt in her voice doing nothing to me.
“I don't know” and the honest truth was that I didn't, hurting her was the last thing I wanted but it couldn't be helped, I had to get my mate back.
“Xavier! Are you really going to throw everything we've worked for away?! She belongs to the King now and I'm willing to forgive you. I get it, it's the mate bond, I know you love me” she said, coming closer to me.
She held my head in both her hands and looked me dead in the eyes.
“I don't understand what you're feeling but I know it's not worth losing your life and pack over, she belongs to the King now” she said, making my mind break beyond anything I knew.
Why was she right?!
She kissed my cheek and went down the stairs and I stood there, unable to follow.
“Ash” I called out to my wolf, only to be met with silence.
“Ash I need you to tell me what to do” I called again, hoping he knew what I was supposed to do now. How do I get out of this? Get past it? How do I fix it?!
I stopped seeking out my wolf and decided to follow Lilly down the stairs, one thing I knew for sure was that the King would be eating with the pack.
Then maybe I could sneak out and get a moment alone with Alari.
Most of the pack was already in the dining hall and I could tell how excited they were to meet the King, heck, I was excited until I found out he was Alari's second chance mate.
Pack members were dressed to impress, especially the unmated she wolves. I guess word about Alari and the King hadn't spread yet.
I sat down next to Lilly, avoiding her gaze as I stared at nothing in particular.
It wasn't long before the King arrived, with Alari in tow and I felt anger and jealousy bubble up inside me.
Ignoring everyone else's reaction to the new ‘couple’, I brought my gaze down to the table as we all stood.
I couldn't help looking at her through the corner of my eye, watching as he pulled her onto his lap.
He shifted her around a bit before asking is she was comfortable, to which she nodded, but he wouldn't accept it and kept asking.
I felt my heart ache at how tender he was with her, knowing how brutal I was, not only with my words but my actions as well.
But I can do better! I'm ready to do right by her!
We were told to sit and we did, hating every second of his authority over everyone here.
I put a bit of food on my plate, drowning everyone out. I had to figure out a way to get Alari by herself so I could talk to her, I needed to talk to her.
I was brought back to the present when I felt the King's strong Alpha aura but it was directed at Alicia, who was as pale as a sheet with tears streaming down her face.
Wonder what she did to upset the King like that, but it wasn't too hard to guess, she'd always been a little loose lipped for her own good.
Everyone soon went back to eating while I stayed watching the King feeding Alari from the corner of my eye and I felt a heaviness in my chest.
I wanted to do that!
It wasn't long before they left and I felt jealousy burn my skin as he held her hand the entire time, he wasn't ashamed of her.
“You haven't touched your food” Lilly said and I looked down at my untouched food.
“Not hungry” I said and got up to leave, I needed time alone to come up with a plan.
I decided to go for a run, knowing I couldn't get to her now, not with the King dragging her around like that.
It took me ten minutes to shift when it usually took seconds, Asher was still silent and made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me.
I tried apologizing but he wouldn't have it, and seeing our mate with someone else stung more than I could ever describe.
I felt robbed, but I knew it was my own fault, I'm the one who rejected her.
I had planned to run until my mind was clear but exhausting quickly caught on and I found myself on the forest floor, panting like I'd been running for hours.
I couldn't think of a way to get her back, I wanted to talk but I knew there was nothing I could say to change her mind, to make her come back to me.
I had hurt her so much! Since we were children and when I couldn't, I got others to do it for me. I had tormented her for so long and then came back to reject her.
How could I do that to my own mate?
As angry as I was that the King had snatched her from me, I was also angry at myself.
I did this, all of it. I let her slip through my fingers!
“Xavier honey, you need to come back now” mom's voice rang in my mind and I sighed, looking around to see the sun was going down, it was almost time to become the Alpha of my pack.
I felt Asher stir at the thought and I was happy that he hadn't forgotten our duty to the pack.
I didn't take too long to get ready, time was literally flying by and I still hadn't gotten time alone with Alari.
“Are we doing this or am I getting my parents and pack out of here?” Lilly asked, standing in front of me in a long silver dress.
She looked gorgeous but I wished more than anything that it was Alari.
“Let's get it over with” I sighed in defeat, I had made my bed, the least I could do was do right by my pack.
“You'll feel better once we're marked” she said, the thought of marking her causing me discomfort.
We went down the stairs hand in hand, my mind clinging onto her lingering scent, though it was already fading.
Both our packs were there and they stood in a circle, leaving only a way for us to reach the middle, where my parents and King were waiting.
Alari wasn't there, that was the first thing I noticed and I felt myself wanting to go looking for her but I knew I couldn't ruin this for the pack.
We were told to kneel in front of the King once we reached them.
The King recited the Goddess prayer, calling on her power and it didn't take long to feel an electrifying presence.
We were made to vow to protect and lead to the best of our capabilities, cutting our palms for the blood oath.
I feel Asher roar to life as we felt the pack, their love and admiration flow through us, I felt them as I became their Alpha.
I also felt a bond form with Lilly, though it was nothing in comparison to what I felt with Alari. She was now my Luna, we only had to complete our mating and it would be like Alari never existed to me.
The pack cheered as the King presented us as their new Alpha and Luna.
This was what I wanted, to be a worthy Alpha and have a strong Luna, but why did I still feel so empty?
Why did it feel like none of it mattered because I couldn't have her?
“Congratulations son” dad said tight lipped, as if he could read my thoughts.
“Mate your Luna, that's the only way you can get over her” mom said in a much warmer tone than my father.
“They're right, you'll be over her by tomorrow” Lilly said taking my hand and I just nodded stiffly.
The pack was celebrating while I sat in a corner drinking my sorrows away.
I was drunk off my ass, having downed a whole bottle of tequila and was currently half way through my second.
“I think you've had enough buddy, need help getting inside?” Jackson asked, making me grab the bottle I'd put on the table and get up.
“I'm fine!” I growled and left the table, stumbling my way into the pack house.
I opened the door and was hit in the face by her scent and when I looked up, I saw her on the other side of the hallway.
“Alari!” I growled, happy to finally see her but I could tell from her gaze that she wasn't as happy to see me.